1. The first time someone is cheated on emotionally. Being cheated on physically is traumatic, but there’s nothing that cuts deeper than knowing someone you love and whom has committed themselves to you has developed an emotional bond with someone else. Because the desire to have sex with someone can be impulsive; written off as instinctive, animistic, even. A lapse in judgment. There’s no such mental finagling when it comes to the someone you love loving someone else.
2. The first time they realize that something terrible and personal and completely humiliating was said behind their backs, especially by a friend they thought was a confidante. It’s not even the betrayal that digs deep, it’s the fact that now people know about something so personal, and being emotionally naked in front of the people who led you to make that thing a secret in the first place is not an easy hurdle.
3. The moment someone chooses not to be there when they truly, genuinely, honestly need them to be. This is the make or break of relationships, always.
4. The instance someone proves to them that their first impression was right, even if everything else disproves those initial assumptions, it just takes that one moment of I knew it to solidify how they feel about someone.
5. Losing a parent, especially when they haven’t actually died.
6. Being wrongly blamed for something very serious, and then having action taken against them for that false claim.
7. Of course, their first broken heart. It’s not that you never get over that person or relationship, it’s just that the first time you really let someone in and they hurt you in ways you never even thought possible, it changes you.
8. The first time they experience a true injustice without seeing a consequence delivered to the perpetrator in question or a fair resolve of the issue. It’s these moments that lead people to believe the world is this terrible place that’s out to get them. When they see it happen more than once, that foundation for bitterness can grow into something that can often permeate the rest of their lives.
9. The first time they are humbled because they realize they are wrong, but more importantly, the first time they come clean about it.
10. The first kid(s) that teased them in school, and what they teased them for. Many people spend the rest of their lives just trying to prove them wrong.