Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves… is nothing at all. Initially, at least. It takes some real mastery of self-control, but it’s well worth it in the end. Sometimes we can go to bed and wake up the next day and things just look completely different. Give it a week, a month, a year, and all of a sudden things aren’t so bad. We won’t react to them the way we would have when they initially happened. And besides, by that point, we’ve usually filled our minds with other worries and irrational concerns. It’s really a never-ending cycle we put ourselves through.
You just shouldn’t make any decisions immediately after something profound happens in your life. We have this mechanism of self where we want to mediate our feelings and do whatever will make us feel better initially. But that doesn’t always mean something that we’ll be happy with in the long-run.
So take a break from dating after the breakup. Save the email you want to send, and look at it tomorrow. Hold off on the phone call that’s going to decide something significant in your life. Give yourself a chance to process. On a grander scale, learn to just be. Stop your pursuit of all things greater and let what you have be great enough.
Because beyond what we figure out ourselves, whether we want to acknowledge it or not, there is some external force at work. You can believe in it or not, but either way it will affect you. As such is the case, you’re best off ensuring that it works in your favor– and you do that by trusting.
I know its hard sometimes, because we’re in this cataclysmal blip and nothing makes sense most of the time, we don’t know why we’re here or what we’re supposed to do. What we do know is that we began, we will end, and in retrospect, things seem to come together in ways that we did not intend and that we did not outline for ourselves. If that’s not enough of a cue to let go of control, I don’t know what is.