It’s inevitable that an individual will go through changes as they cruise through life’s roughest terrains or floating in a sea of euphoric atmosphere. Circumstances and interactions shape us in who we end up becoming, specifically referring to our parents. Our parents want us to become the person they’ve raised us to be and become a reflection of what they want us to be. They want the best for us, but sometimes, what they think is best for us will not yield our happiness. Finding your happiness and satisfying our own needs may require us to explore a different path and force us to diverge from a road we were taught or instructed to take, and of course, not everyone will be happy with your choices.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents. Their hard work and discipline have influenced me in positive ways that I am blessed to have. I want them to be happy. I want them to be proud of me. I realize they want me to become a doctor or lawyer because they feel that that is what is best for me. They want me to remain a virgin until I meet my husband (which I am not for or against at all). The vision your parents have for you may not be bad at all, but sometimes, it just isn’t you.
I am not a proper, clean-cut lady who will become a doctor and will remain pure until my wedding day. As nice as that sounds, the probability of me becoming that is as real as a unicorn. I have my quirks. I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of. I have tattoos (which would get me disowned as their child). There’s a whole side of me my parents do not know about, and it’s not me being rebellious, but it’s simply a way for me to be myself without disappointing my parents. I want to be myself AND keep them happy. Sure, it may not be in an honest manner, but it works.
It’s a struggle, especially when your parents have grown up in a strictly different cultural background than you have. What may be an “oh my goodness, that’s terrible” to them may simply be a “psshhh” to you. It’s nice to see parents and their children share a similar identity. It’s nice to see a glimpse of a mother and daughter shopping together, wearing the same pink cardigan and sharing laughter from time to time. Then, there are children that are nothing like their parents and end up growing apart. I never want to grow apart from my parents due to my individuality. I’ve grown up surrounded by American culture and they’ve grown up around stern and demanding values.
In all honesty, if I became the “perfect” girl that my parents envisioned, it would have prevented me from growing and finding out what I want in life. I wouldn’t take any risks or learn much about myself had I not made the mistakes I already have made.
In the end, your happiness is of your own and what you make of it. Your parents or anyone else shouldn’t determine it. If there is one thing my parents are genuinely seeing in me, it is my happiness.