It probably started with a rated R movie you saw when you were in middle school. Or maybe it began with a story someone’s unfiltered older sibling told you. It might have even started at a football game with your family in a new city one exciting September night. Wherever you were when you began starting thinking about college, you were years away from the first time you would walk into a dorm and understand what things like ramen noodles and hangovers and bad decisions really meant.
No, you don’t really know exactly what to expect from the post high school pre-forever part of your life, but you have some sort of vague idea and usually a large team of friends and family rooting you on. What nobody really explains, in an honest, or remotely helpful way, is what it feels like at the end of the road. Everyone wants to talk about the party but nobody wants to explain what 6 am feels like afterwards. That’s why I’m here. To provide the 22 things that T. Swift (and everybody else for that matter) didn’t teach you about being 22:
1. You will be tired. So tired. And not from alcohol.
2. Love without the frat parties and tailgates feels unexpectedly primal.
3. Most of your friends don’t give a shit about you.
4. Luckily your family does.
5. Feeding yourself becomes more of a burden than you ever thought possible.
6. Errands are a real thing that require careful planning and dedicated follow through.
7. You will actually use a lot of the random shit that you said you would never use in school.
8. Unfortunately you somehow did not learn enough random shit and will frequently say really dumb shit at work.
9. “How’s work?” will be the only question anyone ever asks you.
10. If you do anything sorta grown up with your bf/gf people will think you’re getting married.
11. Your family will start to get weird about you getting married.
12. Having no rules will be really fucking scary.
13. It’s harder than you think to make friends.
14. It’s even harder to make good ones.
15. People are racist.
16. You will be selfish without knowing you’re being selfish.
17. The playing fields are no longer equal.
18. Ambition can feel suffocating.
19. You will find gray hairs (and if you don’t then f*** you)
20. You will drink to survive not to party.
21. The grass is definitely not greener on the other side. If you find out that it is, head on over to said grass.
22. Anything really is possible.