1. I came back to the dorm one day to find the door locked. Luckily, I had my key this time around, so I unlocked the door. The fucker was in my chair jerking off. I didn’t speak to him very much after that.
– Danny, 25
2. I had one of those roommates that would never take their shit out of the washing machine. So one day, I decided I’d had enough of her bullshit, so I took her stuff out and put it in the dryer for her. Guess what? She flipped out on me! She screamed at me and told me to never touch her stuff again. Listen bitch, I did you a favor and you’re going to yell at me? I couldn’t wait to get out of that apartment.
– Lisa, 28
3. She basically killed my betta fish because she didn’t feed it for a week. I couldn’t believe it. I knew she was the wrong person to ask, but I had no choice! Goodbye Charlie :(
– Teddy, 25
4. We were randomly selected to be roommates — I think this was freshman year. He was a pillhead. You know the deal, sniff oxys and then drink some beers and black out. He went overboard one night and drank a little too much. Had to call 9-1-1 and he was expelled from the school.
– Kaleb, 25
5. You want to know my worst one? Okay. She was a sorority sister and she’d leave her clothes everywhere. Even her underwear. I’ve found her dirty stained underwear in the bathroom, in the hallway, in the living room. You know how disgusting that was? Oh god, we even had a house talk about it, but she kept doing it. I moved in with two of my fav sisters and thank god.
– Vicky, 27
6. He’d always eat my food from the fridge. I saw him do it one night and it ended up with a fistfight.
– Josh, 24
7. My housemate pissed on another housemate’s bed while he was blacked out. Things got rough.
– Paul, 21
8. You wouldn’t believe how disgusting my roommate was. She did this thing with plates, or anything she ate food off of, where she’d slide them under the bed and not throw them out. It got to a point where the room smelled like garbage. Me and a friend decided to throw out her ‘collection’ while she was in class. She didn’t even notice and did it again. I took to using Lysol on her bed while she wasn’t in the room.
– Jackie, 26
9. He used to take a shit with the door open. Who does that? And he didn’t even bother washing his hands after.
– Brett, 25
10. My first roommate was socially awkward. He used to get upset if anyone made a sound after 9PM. One time, I had friends over and we were playing games in the common room. This kid barges out of our room with a fucking knife and tells us to shut up. We reported him to the RA and he was transferred to a single.
– Jason, 27
11. I walked in on my roommate having sex with his girlfriend. They both looked at me and kept going.
– Rajat, 25
12. I watched my roommate funnel a 40oz, proceed to puke all over his bed and then shit in his pants. That was only a Friday for him.
– Luke, 24
13. I lived with four other guys in a house in my junior year of college. We all came to hate this one guy. I’ll call him Filth. Filth never cleaned up after himself. It got worse when winter came around and he caught the flu. He would sneeze and wipe his nose off on his hands and touch things. He’d hang around in the living room and not move until he felt like it was time to grab food or go to bed. One day, he never went back to bed. Turns out he shit in it because he was ‘too weak’ to get out of bed to use the bathroom. We made him clean it up and get the fuck out of our house.
– Ethan, 28
14. Lived with a slob. He had a skinny girlfriend. They were psychos. They’d take turns yelling at each other about everything and had incredibly loud sex. One time, the girlfriend tried to yell at me for something I don’t remember doing, but my roommate — bless his cholesterol-laden heart — defended me and she started hitting him. Crazy days man.
– Tommy, 26
15. My roommate dated a drug dealer. He actually fucking dealt his shit in our house. Fuck him and her. Fucking assholes.
– Ralph, 26
16. After my roommate broke up with his girlfriend (turns out she cheated on him), he stopped going to class, was fired from work. I felt really bad for him, so I tried to cheer him by taking him out and going out to bars. He’d always come back drunk and feeling bad for himself. One night, I woke up to him crying and I ran out to see if everything was okay. He was really bleary-eyed and I saw he’d cut himself along the wrists. I called 9-1-1 and made sure he was okay and everything. When I came back from work the next day, his stuff was gone. I haven’t seen him since.
– Tyler, 28
17. I had a roommate who’d walk around the apartment with his hands down his pants. I saw him open the fridge with his ball-scented hands and then proceed to move my stuff in there. I’d find his pubes on my soap and I’d tell him to stop, but this fucker never did. I wanted to buy crabs off the internet and sprinkle them on his bed, but that would have meant he’d be walking around scratching his fucking balls and touching my stuff.
– Alex, 27
18. I told her I was seriously allergic to cats. She adopted a cat. Surprisingly, that wasn’t the worst thing she did to me that year.
– Yasmine, 25
19. In an act of unwarranted aggression, my roommate put his dick and balls on my shoulder while I was doing my homework. He also threw a used condom at my head. Pretty sure he’s doing nothing with his life now.
– Derek, 27
20. Let’s call my roommate The Beast. She was a raging bitch from the get-go. It was a four-person dorm and two were really sweet girls. I was stuck on the other side of the room with The Beast. She’d yell at us regularly when things were ‘out of place’ and she screamed and bitched at the quiet girl in our room because she had left her ‘wet toothbrush’ on the desk. She also made up a rule where we couldn’t bring any guys into the room. The Beast would regularly interrupt us when we’d be studying and every time we brought a guy over — even if they were friends — she would audibly sigh and suck her teeth at us and make snide remarks about the guys. The three of us all moved out and got an apartment together. That was the last time I saw The Beast.
– Lara, 24
21. Dumb bitch almost burned the entire house down. She left the gas on and fell asleep.
– Nicole, 26
22. I’m dealing with this right now. My roommate has some weird disorder. Right now, he is seriously obsessed with anything that has to do with Minions. His side of the room has Minions curtains, Minions bedsheets, Minions backpack. He sometimes says things to me in Minion-speak. Please, god, save me.
– Nathan, 21
23. My fiancée’s story: she roomed with four girls when she lived in her sorority house. Three of them were total bitches and the fourth one was the nice one out of the bunch. My fiancée lived there when they moved in.
Soon enough, the three bitchy girls walked around thinking they owned the place. They ended up cracking the TV screen because they threw a party one night and things got ‘out of hand’. They broke her plates, they ruined her cookware, they never fucking paid for toilet paper. We finally got our own place together and left that dump. My fiancée said the nice girl finally ended up moving out, but that was only after the girls broke her laptop after a party.
– Janmichael, 28
24. My roommate never shut up about me being a lesbian. She held it against me.
– Maggie, 24
25. I came home one night to a house with all the lights on. I was weirded out, so I called out my roommate’s name. I didn’t hear her. So, I ran up the stairs, fearing the worst. I saw her on the bed passed out. I was scared, so I shook her awake. Turned out she was stoned out of her mind. Then I heard water running, so I ran into the bathroom across the hallway. The faucet was on full and the bathtub and the sink was overflowing. What dumb person runs both the sink and tub and forgets about it? She ruined the floor in the bathroom and the next day, the kitchen ceiling had water damage. She at least offered to pay for the damages.
– Kylie, 26