7. When I was at the hospital giving birth to my son, the doctor broke my bag of water.
They saw meconium (first baby poop) in the amniotic fluid so they started flushing me out. The baby was blocking the exit, so the fluid they pumped into me wasn’t coming back out. I remember them saying “we aren’t getting any return”. It came time to push, and the doctor must’ve known what was coming because when I looked up after his head was out, she was dressed up like the Gorton’s fisherman. Head to toe rain gear.
The moment his shoulder came free, any leftover amniotic fluid and all the fluid they filled me up with, let out in one giant birthing liquid tidal wave. The entire birthing staff went WHOA! and jumped back. It was a remarkably wet entrance into the world for my son.
8. A friend of a friend went to jump over a metal fence and slipped. He just jumped over and kept going. Suddenly he started feeling dizzy. He looks down, and there’s a huge hole in his pants and there’s blood everywhere. They get to the ER, he drops his pants, and the Dr goes, “Welp. You have 2 anuses.”
9. I was about 12-years-old, showing up for my routine physical. It was about to begin. I jumped on the scale, then my stomach started killing me. It slowly went away. The testicle toss was coming up. I’m holding in my diarrhea-churning stomach. I get the okay to cough as she cups my balls. Yeah, I coughed a little harder than usual and I splattered poop everywhere. I left specks of poop juice on the outer side of her hand and shit a soupy spot on the floor. I never went back again.
TL:DR had to diarrhea right before my balls were cupped in a physical, i shit on the Dr’s hand.
10. I dislocated my shoulder in a snowboarding accident and in the ER, was freaking out when the doctor walked in (to put it back into its socket). So the nice nurse(with a HUGE rack) came in to help comfort me(read: hold me still). Before the doc even started, i was squirming like a baby and I started to feel cosy and happy, thinking maybe the painkillers had finally kicked in. Turns out I was nuzzling the nurse’s breasts with my face and really enjoying it. When i realized what i was doing, i quickly peeled my face away, and apologized frantically. She said it was alright.
I’m a girl.