1. My best mate’s sister used to work in a nursing home, one day was tending to a lady who had her hand in her dressing gown and would not answer to any question or instruction. Friends sister noticed a horrible smell, old ladies gown dropped and she had defecated herself and was using the feces as a kind of…lube and was rubbing herself out.
2. Catching a guy masturbating to a childrens potty training book at the toy store.
3. My Mom searched Google for Google.com
4. Working as a security officer at Six Flags in 2008, when I was 18.
I would always find people in area’s they were not allowed to be in. Usually some teenagers messing around or people trying to get it in at the time. So I got used to watching the pathways to these areas because I could catch people before they got into the place. So I saw thing young looking couple starting to sneak back into a area all smiling and laughing. So I start to make my way to follow them, I eventually get into the pathway and can not seem to find them. I start to hear muffled sounds from around a corner. Now this is usual for people who are trying to get it in. I walk around the corner to find the guy will a pocket knife plunge into this 21-year-old girls stomach. Immediately I run over and tackle to guy and secure the knife. Turns out they were a couple and the guy was mad at how she looked at some other guy in the park. I will never forget the scumbag’s face.
Also on a side note, caught a guy trying to take a lost kid out of the park. I was basically the last line of defense for when we are looking for lost children. I was put outside the park in-between the parking area and the exit. My coworker decided he wanted to go smoke at the time and was not paying attention. He offered me a cig, but I don’t smoke so I declined and kept a close eye out. I saw the child and starting walking over to the guy, once he saw me he started running while dragging the kid behind him. I never ran so fast in my life to catch someone once I saw the kid screaming and crying while getting dragged along the pavement.
5. My friend watched his sister naked through a hidden window.
6. Once I slept in my friend’s living room but needed to take a piss. In my drunken haze, I mistook the guest room as the bathroom. I opened the guest room and there was my friend… Wearing nothing but boxers and a motorcycle helmet, kneeling down with his one arm extended out, reciting lion king’s “circle of life” speech to someone on webcam.
I shut the door and acted like nothing happened.
7. This guy in my multimedia class openly masturbating to anthropomorphic animal porn on the computer. The whole class watched in horror and moved to the other side of the room. The teacher eventually realized it and made it awkward for the kid by standing behind him and going, “So, watcha doing?” He got banned from using school computers after that.
8. Saw a guy blow his brains out.
Was at a gas station getting my daily fix of diet coke and as I was leaving the store I saw that a bunch of cops moving towards this van in the parking lot. The guy went behind the van, put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.
Turns out the guy had gone on a killing spree killing his wife and kids and then shot up an insider traders office.
Had nightmares about that shit for months.
9. A guy had spent the night at my place and I needed to leave early the next morning, but said he could stay around as long as he wanted. We were messing around a little and he said he would finish himself off after I left.
After I’d gone, I realized I’d forgotten something and went back to get it. When I got there, I noticed he’d locked the door to my bedroom inside my apartment. As I was unlocking it he called out “Wait, hold on.” We’d been dating for awhile and I knew he was getting off so I was confused…
I opened the door anyway and see this super tall, hyper-masculine, not particularly sexually open guy on all fours on my floor surrounded by my sex toys… including a hot pink suction cup dildo and some ben-wa balls re-appropriated as anal beads.
I just kind of paused in shock for a minute. This was not something that we’d discussed before. None of these were for anal use. These were all really expensive, really nice toys. And I had someone waiting for me in my car so I had to just sort of take in the scene and run.
10. Me and my crew got called to an accident.
Car flipped over on an icy road and landed upside down in the ditch next to the road. We proceed there with horn and lights on. The man was crumbled up behind the steering wheel. We get to work, trying to get him out. Cutting his seatbelt, he fell down. At this point I’m next to him checking for vitals and get nothing, but he is bleeding from his mouth and a head wound. So this is reason enough for me to think that he is still alive, his heart is still pumping blood.
We crack the car open like an oyster with our hydraulic tools to get a better hold on him — we needed to drag him to the trunk to get him out there, the doors were both blocked off by the ditch. So still laying face to face with the man who was on his way to work, I saw a small plastic bag with sandwiches and a banana falling out of his coat pocket, the lock on his watch was broken, his watch was dangling loosely on his wrist. The bleeding stopped, his face turned ash. I just looked at a 52-year-old man, father of two, husband, longtime worker in Scania factory dying in a fucking ditch because of a small slippery stretch of road which got icy because the wind made it slightly colder than the rest of that road.
He could not have known. He lost control of his small car, started to slip, crashed into a light post, flipped over a couple of times and landed in a ditch. I am a firefighter, death is part of my work. That is why I celebrate life as much as I can, life can end because of the wind. I saw the life seep away from that man and it chilled me to the bones.
11. I went to a friends house for a sleep-over and in the middle of the night I went to take a piss, but I walked into his parents bedroom just in time for the money shot facial. They didn’t even notice me for like a solid 5-10 seconds. It’s hard to look at your friend’s mom once you’ve seen her smearing cum all over her face.
12. A few years ago, I had to work at a sketchy gas station in a sketchy part of town. (We were locked behind bullet proof glass, there was a safe room behind the counter and we occasionally had cops respond to a call and then just stay there for the rest of the overnight shift, because the cop felt we needed her/him).
Basically, I was extremely poor and this was the only place that had called me back when I was applying for jobs. I got lucky and mostly worked the day shifts.
One day, in the middle of the day, we’re slow and I’m staring out the window counting down the hours til my shift ends and I see a fat, crazy looking black lady wearing a tiny little skirt and a ripped tank top. She grabs a shred of newspaper off the ground, squats, pisses, rubs the newspaper down there and throws it down.
We had an outside cooler of popsicles that people would grab and then pay for inside (rarely did they get paid for, I dunno why we had them outside, we must have lost a lot of money). Anyways, she goes up that cooler, grabs a popsicle, unwraps it and alternative shoves it in her mouth and her vag, cat-calling every gent who walked within a 20 foot radius.
…I called the cops on her, but I for a good five minutes I stood there watching her, wondering what the fuck my life was coming to and whether or not living in this city was worth it.
13. I would drop off/pick up a female friend from someone else’s house near mine, I thought she was buying weed or something like that (I don’t smoke so I just assumed she was hiding it from me to be respectful). One time I told her “you know, you don’t have to be so secretive, I don’t care what you’re doing in there.” Well turns out the guy that lived there actually had a foot fetish and paid her to come over. He smelled her feet, while laying on the floor and jacking off. Sometimes he also asked her to kick him in the face, leave her sneakers there, etc.
Tl;dr: my friend was a foot prostitute.
14. An extremely obese woman had fallen and required 6 firemen to come and help her get back up.
15. Caught a random guy in the women’s toilets in our office block with his trousers down, leaning on the wash basins with one hand, and picking lumps of shit out of his arse with the other.
16. Roommate had a couple of hambeasts over. Walmart wonders, as it were. They looked & smelled like they hadn’t bathed in weeks, and they were smoking it up on the couch without the windows open. So I said hello, waved, gave him that questioning look of, “You’re not really going to do this, are you?” and opened the windows, turned on the fans, etc. He said they’d be going out for drinks, invited me along, but I declined & stayed home. I fell asleep before they got back.
So it’s probably like 3 or 4am, and I wake up to a fwup fwup shluup fwupfwupfwup sound coming from the living room. Goddamn it, really? But I had to pee, and the only way to get there was to go right by them. So I stumble out, just as hambeast #1 lets out this bloodcurdling moan-shriek, eeeeeoohhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHYEAH. By impulse I just go, “Holy fuck, shutthefuckup, my fucking ears”. Deer-in-headlights-mode engage.
Then I see it. There’s blood and upended beer all over the previously white couch. The girl’s just staring at me with this growing look of horror, but my roommate is still fwupfwupfwup’ing away. I’m staring at all of the blood, and then she’s suddenly like, “No, noONOnonostoooooppp wuaagh!” and then dead silence. My rm gets this look of utter revulsion on his face, “Y-you didn’t? You did. Oh GOD” and pulls out – of her ass, as she projectile beershat all over the couch and him. He jumped back, but not in time to avoid getting sloshed with the next wave. The stupid girl was just kneeling there, pushing out wave after wave, “H-help me out, I c-c can’t get up,” as she continued to pump out shit. That fucking smell. I ran into the kitchen and puked into the sink. He ran into the bathroom and did likewise.
I go back to survey the damage, and she’s still fucking kneeling there in doggy mode. The couch is thoroughly fucked, the entire appt now smells like death, and she’s now bawling her eyes out. Okok, fuck, uhh. “Okay, look, this is .. fucking terrible. I don’t know what to say. This is really fucking gross, I can’t believe.. like, what the fuck. BUT OKAY. Let’s uh.. fuck, let’s get you cleaned up, and then you two dolts are going to fucking fix this.”
She just looks at me with these doe eyes, “b-bb-b-but I CAN’T MOVE.” Wat. “Help me uuuuup.” No. No I am not going to step into that ooze. “I can’t get up by my-my-aaaaaaa-” and she teeters under her own weight, and falls sideways off the couch, into the pool of her own shit. My roommate reappears at this point and I just look at him, make a few unintelligible “Wha.. I, like, what. I don’t e..WHAT, FIX. NOW.” dismay squeaks, grab my stuff, and go spend the night in a hotel.
17. Masturbating on the BART train. We were the only two people in the train, and he looked at me, and went back to his wanking. I walked to the next car fast as possible.
18. In high school we had a special education class, the only one in the entire district, so we had a high concentration of those with mental deficiency to varying degrees. While they had special classes they shared classes like gym, art and drama with everyone else.
There were two kids who always hung out together, not exactly sure what was wrong with them but they acted flamboyant with the mentality of a 5 year old. It was to the point that one wouldn’t go to the washroom without the other, and for the most part teachers would allow this knowing they would have tantrums.
Midway through science class I get up to take a leak. I go into the washroom and see both of them spiderman’d up on top of the toilet stall taking dumps from orbit. I’m in shock, thinking what the fuck, one of them makes eye contact and panics. He loses his footing, falling into the shit crescendo. Then it happens. The other guy starts dropping shit orbital strikes onto his fallen comrade, laughing like a maniac.
At that point I bolted and walked back into science class, white as a ghost. My teacher asked what was wrong and I stammered out “I.. I.. I.. think you.. you need to go. You need to go to the bathroom.”
He rushes down the hall and I hear “Jesus fucking christ REALLY?”
While not the most gruesome thing I’ve witnessed but the most shocking for sure.
19. When I was in high school, we had to wear shorts as a part of school uniform. There was this one guy who used to show off his dick to girls during lectures!! He enjoyed seeing their reactions of disgust. Somehow the teacher never caught him doing this. And the girls never complained about it since it was embarrassing…
20. One time I went to play my friends xBox, all of the boxes for the games were empty, and the disks we’re all stacked one on top of each other.
21. My partner and I were walking from the train station at Coney Island, NY to the boardwalk and saw a lady in the distance squatting against a fence. She left and when we approached the spot she squatted at we saw a massive splatter of shit all over the ground.
22. I worked in a meat processing business over the summer. Long story short I walked into the freezer and found an employee having his way with a severed cow’s head.
23. Me and the cross country team were going on a run at a public park with an elementary school 200 yards or so away.
There was a mowed field behind the school and we were bored so we decided to run back there. We came across two people full out banging in the middle of the field within full view of the school. This was fifteen minutes or so after school had dismissed and there were still some students around the school.
The woman’s child was standing right there asking to go home while the mom was begging her son to not tell dad.
24. I work in a supermarket in the UK and we had a mentally challenged guy working for us, one day in October last year a customer came up yelling about “the retard with the trolley” after a quick hunt we found him midway down the main aisle with his cock out, furiously masturbating and licking his lips. He only stopped when our security guy threw a towel over him and dragged into the offices.
25. Not mine but my friend’s. She was in a changing room in H&M and she popped her head out looking for her friend. The curtain to the changing room opposite was half open and she saw a guy just looking at his boner in the mirror with his trousers and boxers round his ankles. It was even more awkward cause she made eye contact with him in the mirror. Needless to say she ran out of there as fast as she could.
26. Driving to visit family around Memorial Day Weekend, a huge string of bikers were taking up the left hand lane on the highway.
There was probably about 50-60 of them. I’m driving my little Mazda 3 when I see the biker next to me get bumped by his buddy from his left. Suddenly, the scene slowed down into a grotesque domino effect of people being thrown into ditches and onto the road.
As I started to pull onto the shoulder, I watched a large biker get thrown off of his bike. He slid face down onto the pavement for quite sometime. There was a large growing puddle of blood surrounding his head. I watched as his exposed skin turned ashen grey. We got out of the car offered blankets, water and first aid supplies to the nearest bikers. Looking around the highway, it seemed as though it was almost apocalyptic with the crumbled bikes and screaming bloodied bikers strewn about. To this day, I’m terrified of driving anywhere near a biker.
27. I walked in on my friend in high school trying to fuck her dog. I left immediately but she told me at school the next day that she’d succeeded. Cannot unsee.