18 Guys Talk About The NSFW Things Every Man (Probably) Does When Alone

Shutterstock / Andre Helbig
Shutterstock / Andre Helbig

1. When you have sticky balls and it sticks to the side of your legs, you manspread and you just don’t fucking care.

– Travis

2. I purposely pee on the side of the toilet bowl to try to ‘power clean’ dried poop from it.

– Pete

3. Contrary to what women think, and I don’t know about the other guys, but I really like to lie back and watch some home improvement shows.

– Sean

4. I’m pretty sure I spend more time looking for the right porn than jerking off.

– Gary

5. I daydream about killing people that have crossed me.

– Nicholas

6. I shit with the door open. What, am I boring or something?

– Aaron

7. Well… I tell myself I’m going to jerk off only once. But I get really horny a couple of minutes after. It’s weird, I’m not like this around my girlfriend.

– Paul

8. I use my fingers to pluck stray hairs on my face.

– David

9. Hah, this is great. In the morning, I push my morningwood into my bed and hump it while stretching.

– Brent

10. I scratch my balls and pretend to scratch my nose after to get a quick whiff.

– Ian

11. Have you heard of r/Popping? No? Well I watch that shit like there’s no tomorrow. It’s disgusting, but I can’t stop.

– Ralph

12. I cup my balls. It’s comforting.

– Danny

13. I fantasize about saving people I love from worst-case scenarios.

– John

14. I beat myself up over embarrassing shit I’ve done in the past, man. God, I was such a stupid punk back then.

– Gabriel

15. Flex in front of the mirror. Full frontal, sideways, behind, whatever.

– Brett

16. I do this thing with my balls, I take my finger and slap the skin between the testicles. It sounds funny and I can do it for hours.

– Bobby

17. Sometimes, right before I take a shower, I smell my boxers. Always a chance of regretting it.

– James

18. I try to pee really hard to make pee bubbles. TC mark

– Eric

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