14 Terribly Hilarious Phrases Only People Who Play Crusader Kings 2 Will Get
By Brian Gates
1. “Celibate son? No problem. Here’s to banging his wife.”
2. “I’m going to kill my son.”
3. “Give me a goddamn son already…”
4. “I hate the Pope…”
5. “I need to figure out how to breed this out.”
6. “Okay, just how many bastard children do I have?”
7. “Messalian is the true religion. Incest and at peace with Catholics? Fuck yes!”
8. “Give me all the children.”
9. “I need to impregnate one of my vassals… My wife won’t give me a son.”
10. “Where are all the lustful women?”
11. “I killed the Pope.”
12. “How can I kill my prisoners en masse?”
13. “My spymaster just reported there’s a plot against me and…he’s the leader of the plot.”
14. “WHY WON’T YOU FUCKING DIE ALREADY?”
All hail the mighty ruler!