3 Not-So Old Words We Should Use Again For Humor’s Sake

image - Flickr / Kevin Krebs
image – Flickr / Kevin Krebs

1. Homeless person = Hobo

This may only work for a homeless male; homelessness in the 20th century was far too misogynistic to include females in this term. But I wouldn’t refer to a homeless person as a hobo. Or a homeless person as homeless. Just say, “Sorry, I don’t have anything.” And then say to your friend, “That hobo just asked me for money and when I said, ‘No, sorry.’ He had very hostile energy. That was one angry hobo!’”

2. White people = Jive-Ass Honkies

I would use this phrase when a white person wants to criticize another white person doing something “white”, like wearing khakis, being uptight and mayonnaise. You know, like a Tumblr post of seasoning meat with only two seasonings and then “white people.” But I think it would be a lot funnier if they showed a Ralph-Lauren wearing ‘bro’ with a popped collar eating prosciutto wrapped melon, and then wrote, or said, “Jive-Ass Honkies.” While it may be uncomfortable for a non-white person to say, or write, “Jive-Ass Honkies”—I’d say just give a little ingratiating and teasing smile, or wink, to your white friend, and their white guilt will make it perfectly okay. Or just use one of these on your Tumblr post “;-)”, and then school any Jive-Ass Honkies that question this about societal power structures and historical white supremacy. Jive-Ass Honkies will think it’s funny unless they really are a Jive-Ass Honkey, so it’s like a Jive-Ass Honkey test. Are you cool?

3. Amphetamine user = Tweaker

I’m not sure when people stopped saying tweaker. Maybe it was around the time people started saying meth instead of speed. In the 90’s people who used meth were called tweakers and meth was called speed. In the 00’s there were all those anti-meth campaigns with the scabs and the corpse-like bodies that really changed the cultural baggage of the name and the drug. I grew-up in Southern California, and had a few friends start using speed, or meth as they call it now. And using speed was looked down upon because it changed you and made you a mess and sent you to the edge of suicide or jail. And it wasn’t a good high and super addicting. But all upper users hate their coke or meth, but then it’s there in front of them and they’re snorting rails or sucking the glass dick and then later recalling how shitty it was coming down and how evil speed/meth is. Now many people use Adderall, and people don’t call them tweakers. Let’s start that. You little twitchy fuck on Adderall right now, you’re a tweaker, accept it. Or at least beat yourself up about when you’re coming down. TC mark

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