Review of Your Headphones

Your headphones are the finest the market has to offer, guy sitting on the train across from me. How do I know? Because I can hear every note of what you’re listening to, as if the earbuds where placed around my very own ears. And by the way, I love the new Chris Brown song too.

The bass in your new headphones is especially impressive. The way the beat radiates, banging against the inside my head, even from five feet away. The engineers must have worked extra hard on that feature. Wait,
did the bass just rock the train car? It’s hard to say. It would seem certain that the level must be unpleasant in your own own ears, but you are a connoisseur of music. You would not disrespect the sound.

The song has changed to Rihanna. We both laugh at the humorous juxtaposition. Your headphones are bringing people together.

Lower level headphones keep most of the sound in, that much I know to be true. Every pair of headphones I have ever owned only allowed me to listen to my music, and no one else. I will not buy these kinds of headphones ever again. It is good that you are singing now to accompany the sound of your headphones. The other travelers moving away are intimidated by how good it sounds. But I am not. I am here to stay.

If I had one critique about your headphones, I would say that the volume does not go loud enough. What about the people in the other cars, on the platform, walking on the street below? Shouldn’t they enjoy – oh, you’re turning up the volume now. It is so blissfully loud. My criticism is retracted.

The quality of the mids and highs on your headphones are excellent. I believe that to be so. In all honesty, I don’t really know what that terminology refers to, I just found it on a site that reviews many kinds of headphones. I’ve never reviewed headphones before. I was just so taken with yours. I should have done more preparation. The sound is pristine. It’s even crisper now that everyone else has left the train car. It is pointless to be listening to my own music. I’m turning off my iPod.

In order to write a complete account of your top of the line headphones, I should evaluate their price. Obviously that number must be high, in the thousands, I would imagine. But I would like to say that in the line where you would read my comments about price, I feel it should simply say “Worth It.” Because there is no sum too high for headphones that allow everyone else around you to also to listen to what it is you are listening to. You are a person I will never forget, and your headphones have made that happen. Whatever price has been on that, well I say it is not enough. TC mark

image – Wikimedia

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  • http://www.theuglynewyorker.com Stephanie Georgopulos

    Fabulous.

  • ryan chang

    everyones gotta know that i really like best coast and sleigh bells, alright? lay off

  • uhnonnymus

    DGAF

  • monicita

    Brilliant. Viva passive aggressive humor! I'm printing this out and handing it to every idiot on the subway blaring shitty music from their earbuds.

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