It doesn’t matter how we define success in our lives, all of us want it in some shape or form. Some of us want to eventually graduate from school, we want to start our own businesses, we want to write a book, or perhaps we simply want to make steps mentally and outwardly to improve the state of our lives.
Whatever it may be, success looks different for everyone. But the older we get, the more we will realize that a lot of betting has to be done on ourselves in order to make it. We have to love ourselves, and really root for ourselves if we want to achieve all that we have conceptualized in our minds. We actually have to wake up every day and chant to ourselves, “I am worth it, I have talents and I can do this.”
However, as someone who has been working on self-love and reading self-help books for years, I’m not an idiot and I know just saying positive things and believing in ourselves is not something that is done overnight and it is also easier said than done. Just assess yourself for instance. How many times have you logged onto YouTube with a burst of inspiration for life and a sudden burning in your chest for growth? You watch a TedTalk, take some notes and feel like you are ready to take on the world. A couple days later, however, reality sets in again, you lose your notes and feel like the same person you’ve always been. Life feels the same.
You feel stagnant, lost and bored with life.
I know it happens because it happens to me all the time and as someone who actually wants to get somewhere in life, it is definitely frustrating to feel like its been years and you are still not where you want to be in life and with social media, we see others who have ‘made it’ and we beat ourselves up for being ‘average.’
But even if you have felt this way at some point in your life, you will eventually become successful. Until then, however, here is what you need to know:
1. You have successes that you must acknowledge.
Believe it or not, you have attained some sort of success already and you can definitely use these to show yourself that you are capable of achieving more, you just need to acknowledge them. Graduating from school is a success, starting a blog or contributing to blogs is a success, making changes in your life slowly is a success. Don’t knock what you have already done, but use it as proof that if you have accomplished those things, you have the ability to do more.
2. Success is birthed from shitty stories.
People who eventually find success usually go through hell and back before they make it. So before you assume that the people you envy on Facebook have a perfect life take a look at the chapters they have been through to get to where they are. It most likely wasn’t a bed of roses. Now look at your life. Are you working a crappy job while you save up for a business? Have you been through depression so bad you wanted to die, but at the same time you now have a story to use as the motivational speaker you’ve always aspired to be? What shitty experiences in your life are you going through that you can learn from? Success grows from trials. You aren’t there yet, but believe me, your story has something to do with you getting there. You aren’t too broken to be a success, believe me.
3. You just have a lot more to learn.
You are young, naive, confused and bursting with energy, but my love, you are still learning and you have a whole lot to learn about what it takes to be successful. You still have habits to start practicing such as time management, less procrastination, dealing with rejection, difficult people and so on and so forth. And your experiences in life every single day are teaching you a lot of what you need to know about how to navigate a life you love. Take this time to learn.
4. You may want to be successful for the wrong reasons.
A lot of us want to be successful just so we can say, “Oh I wrote a book.” Or, “Yes I have traveled here and I own this and look at me look at me!” This is our ego. I go through this a lot. As a writer, I have always wanted to write a book but sometimes I focus too much on recognition instead of the fact that I actually write well and have a story that can help others. As I said again, you really do have your whole life to become a success, despite what others may say about “Life being too short.” Use this time to figure out why success matters to you.
5. Everything just hasn’t aligned yet.
Finally, there will become a day when you will feel aligned with everything. Your purpose, peace of mind, who you are, what you are meant to become and who you will inspire will become very clear to you. All of these things truly must be in alignment before you can attain the success you want. But until then, work on these things to get there.
You are a success in the making.
Yes, you! The one who has felt like the underdog her whole life, the one who constantly compares herself to others, you will, in time, become a success of your own.
But for now, just do this one thing.
Bet on yourself.