“But you have to keep on going on.”
That’s what my friend said to me as I lamented to her about my life and how unsatisfied I am.
I know it is so useless to complain about your life and not just get your shit together and move on, but no one but you knows how much you really hurt and how much you want to know how you are going to get through what you have been through in your life.
And most importantly, we ask the universal question, why?
Like why have I been through depression that I believe has ruined me? Why have I been out of a job for months, years even? Why am I even here? Is it worth it?
We see others living their God givens passions. They are thriving, they have tons of friends, they are traveling and here you are in a situation you loathe, feeling inadequate and worthless.
A lot of us murmur to ourselves ever so often, when will it get better and when will I be happy?
We may be happy for a moment, but moments are fleeting and they aren’t lasting and that is what gets people annoyed.
You are happy because you got engaged, but what about when all of that bliss dies down and the reality hits you? You are happy because you got a promotion? But how do you feel when the likes and the praises end?
For me, I have been unhappy because I have faced life circumstances that just seem to never end. I’ve dealt with depression, I have been unemployed for God knows how long, it’s been a battle just for me to get back to school and finish a semester after almost taking my life and so on and so forth.
It never ends.
And sometimes you want to yell and scream or hide away somewhere to just avoid life altogether, but of course, we may hide, but life chases us nonetheless.
Or maybe it is not even your circumstance that makes you unhappy, but it’s how you feel about yourself, your worth as a person, and how you measure up to society and its expectations.
Maybe you are looking at your friends who have already graduated from school and now they are being noticed by everyone for their videos on YouTube, or you are looking at everyone who is getting attention just because they are liked as a person. And because of this, you start to question whether you matter.
But I will say this, those feelings are fleeting and how you perceive your situation is really what will get you through.
What will really make you happy as a person is the moment you tap into reality and begin to realize that, yes, life is incredibly hard, frustrating, unfair, sad, happy, amazing, and confusing all at once, but what will ultimately determine your happiness is how you perceive everything you are going through.
Yes, you may be out of work and you aren’t living the life you want. I know, but that is life. You don’t get to pick and choose your portion.
I was pretty much done with life last year. Depression came and I wanted to leave this planet. I said to myself, “If this is what I am here for, I don’t want to be a part of it, because obviously I wasn’t meant to be here if it’s this bad.”
But I’m here, trudging on, trying to find meaning and gain strength from everything I have been through.
Life is not easy and a lot of us have been chasing happiness all of our lives, but happiness is not a destination, but something that you have to continuously work to chase on this journey of life.
Having something like a book published or being engaged or getting money won’t make you happy for good. What will make you happy is how you perceive life, even in the bad, even in the ugliness of it all.
Happiness is not a destination.
It is simply how you perceive life as a whole.
It will get good for a while and then it may get bad, really bad, but it’s all how you look at it.