“Everyone is like a little butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.” — Drew Barrymore
I feel like even if you ended up being extremely hot when you got older if you were socially awkward as a child or teenager, that part of you never really goes away.
This description would be me.
I was such a nerd when I was a child it was ridiculous. I had braces, I was skinny and I had glasses.
Fast-forward to my twenties, and I’m sexy AF now, okay!
And I thank God for this.
But my insecure tendencies never really went away.
Especially if you have dealt with a lot of pain in your life, you can face the world with a certain level of insecurity.
It is as if, what you went through, sticks with you and now you carry it in your demeanor.
This sort of lack of self-confidence I think we all struggle with.
We face the world and automatically assume everyone is judging us and can see our insecurities.
Even though you maybe believe you are the only one who struggles with self-esteem and feeling socially awkward in public, trust me when I say you are definitely not the only one.
That being said, here are some tricks you can use to fake being confident AF when you are a socially awkward person.
1. Smile at anyone who stares at you.
Smiling is something that automatically breaks the ice with people. When you are feeling insecure in public, chances are there are a whole bunch of people around you who feel the exact same way. When you make eye contact with someone, just smile. It warms up the moment and makes things less tense and awkward. Smile when you are greeting a salesperson to make your order or when you catch someone staring at you.
Try it. It just might work.
2. If you are at an event, make conversation with the person sitting next to you.
Nothing is worse than being alone at an event and on top of that, you are feeling awkward as hell with no one to talk to.
The older I get the more I simply don’t give a fuck, as much as I did when I was younger, but what I find works is making small talk with the person next to you.
Introduce yourself and talk about the event, your hobbies, or anything for that matter.
Just strike up a conversation period. I know you are probably thinking that if you are shy you can’t do it but take it from a semi-shy person myself, you can. I do it all the time, everywhere I go, and it works.
You will go into the event feeling much more confident and comfortable knowing you are able to communicate with others and in addition, you made a new friend. A win-win situation for sure.
3. Stop overthinking.
I guarantee you people are not judging you as much as you think, that is usually our inner talk, our personal judgment speaking to us, thus making us believe we are being judged. People are way too worried about themselves to actually care about you, to put it bluntly. Don’t overthink and just remember people are feeling awkward just like you. Everyone does.
4. Dress well.
If you look good but feel awkward, the people you assume are judging you probably don’t look half as bomb as you do. That is reassurance enough. If you look good, you feel good and that definitely is a confidence booster.
5. Feed yourself positive thoughts.
While you walk out in public, give yourself some positive affirmations. “I am confident, I am beautiful, I look amazing, I am amazing…” etc etc. Your talk is what makes you who you are. What we feed our minds reflects outwards.
6. Give off positive vibes.
If you give the world the impression that you are dejected and you have low-self esteem, they will see that. I go out looking my best every single day and you wouldn’t believe the shit I have been through. You have to simply fake it until you make it. Make people believe you are doing better than you are.
7. Tell yourself you deserve to feel confident.
After all, you have been through in your life, I think you owe it to yourself to be kind to you and stop putting so much social pressure on yourself to be perfect.
You are human and that is simply enough. Everyone lives their lives feeling self-conscious. Even Beyoncé! Beyoncé, people!
We all just want to be accepted and loved for who we are in a world that is forever judgemental.
You are doing great as yourself, even if you think you are awkward. Hopefully, these tips push you even further.