7 Little Things You’ll Only Understand If You’ve Wrongly Been Called A Narcissist

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Vidar Nordli-Mathisen / Unsplash

I don’t think anyone of us wants to be associated with the word ‘narcissism.’ Even just saying the word myself, right now at this moment, it sounds condescending and completely offensive.

But ladies and gentlemen, this year loved ones in my life have described me as being narcissistic and believe me when I tell you I was shocked, hurt, and in awe at myself all at once.

The first person to call me narcissistic was my hairdresser.

I had a total, 2007 Britney Spears type breakdown last year (okay, I never shaved my head) and as the auntie figure that she is she called me out on always thinking about myself while she gave me she gave me one of my well-needed pep talks. She said to me, “You have a selfish streak! Do you think about anyone else but yourself?”

At the moment, I truly never believed I was displaying any form of narcissistic behavior because, to me, my dilemma was just so much of a crisis that I couldn’t think of anything else but what I was going through. My mom then called me out on it as well and said, “We are all merely a speck in the universe, remember that.”

Now, I am not denying that my behavior was narcissistic, but I feel like it was a wrong to label me as a narcissist because narcissistic people know exactly what they are doing.

I on the other hand never knew I was even displaying this kind of behavior at all. And sometimes, it takes others to call us out on what we don’t know. 

Narcissistic people thrive off of their behavior.

Most of all, when called out on it, they don’t give a fuck.

They simply believe that the world revolves around them and everything must go their way. I am not denying that I have narcissistic tendencies, in fact, I believe that we all do, but I must admit, this revelation was a total surprise to me from what I know about myself.

Here are seven things you’ll only understand if you’ve wrongly been called a narcissist.

1. You are in disbelief because you are a total empath

If you are a sensitive person like me, and you’ve been called a narcissist, it truly hurts your feelings because you know you are actually one of the most sensitive people ever and you begin to question if people can see that, or if your self-absorbed tendencies are overshadowing this.

Narcissists are so caught up in themselves that rarely they are emphatic to others and their needs, but trust me when I say I would take out a complete stranger for coffee and let them unload their life story on me.

2. You make a constant effort to think about others first 

Ever since my loved ones made this comment, I wanted to nip it in the bud immediately. When out at family gatherings, even if I wasn’t feeling my best, I brought the focus to others instead of myself in a conscious effort to not be self-absorbed. No one wants to be that person that people don’t want to be around because all you care about is yourself.

3. You immediately start to examine your behavior 

Now, whenever I have the chance, I take a moment to track when I am being self-absorbed and I keep it in check. Even on social media, I try to be humble when proud of my accomplishments in an effort to realize that it’s not all about me and other people are reading my content. I don’t want to come off as a total brag.

4. When people talk to you, you really listen

Now when people are engaged in conversation with me, I try not to interrupt so much and let someone else speak. We all do this because we want to get our word out so much. We want what we have to say to trump everyone’s point of view. Now, I take a moment to listen to people’s stories and how they feel, and I find it is actually making me a better person.

5. For a while, you think you are such a bad person 

I know for me, I felt like shit when someone called me a narcissist. I thought, well damn if I am really like this I must be the worst human being ever. It really makes you take a look at yourself and how you operate with others and your perception of yourself and the world. You aren’t the only one with experiences.

6. You start to notice it in other people 

Once you are able to identify narcissistic behavior, you are able to see it for yourself in others and you notice how much of a turn-off it really is.

7. You begin to see the world differently 

Even though it made me feel bad and I loathed being classified a narcissist when someone points something out to you it actually gives you the opportunity to grow, educate yourself, and expand your perception on what people experience and life on a whole.

Now when I begin to think that my situations in life are the most dire, I stop and think about what others may be going through as well.

All of us display narcissistic behavior to some degree, but knowing how to notice it and keep it in check is the difference between those who care about changing it and those who refuse to acknowledge it. TC mark

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