1. Write positive things about yourself on sticky notes and look at it every day.
I heard of this a while back as a tactic for constant reminders of self-love and it is something I definitely want to start doing. You can write things like, “I’m beautiful, I deserve good, I am unique” and slip them into your purse and read them while you travel, or you can stick the notes on mirrors and recite them as well. What we say to ourselves, sticks. And when we constantly reinforce our worth, it will eventually become a mindset.
2. Unfriend or unfollow people on social media who trigger you.
This is not petty, it is necessary for your peace of mind. Social media can become extremely toxic if you constantly feel like you need to keep up with other people and it is important to protect your peace. If you are going through a phase where you are trying to center yourself and you don’t really want to see your friends engagement photos every 20 minutes, just unfollow her posts. This doesn’t mean you envy her, it means you need some time to center your thoughts and be in tune with you.
3. Talk yourself through comparisons.
Literally, if you are having a moment where you find yourself tempted to compare, tell yourself in your head “Stop it, I am enough.” Comparing myself to others is a nasty habit I am consciously trying to combat and I intentionally try to do so by speaking to myself in my head when I find I am doing it. This will take a while for you to conquer, but I swear on my life, if you keep at it, it will make a difference. You will begin to notice you are actually, in your head, telling yourself not to do it.
4. Make sure you have your downtime.
If you are like me and you are irritable and cranky when you are hungry or tired, you then know the importance of sleeping and making sure you take care of yourself. You are allowed to rest! Sit down sometimes and just “be.” We live in a fast world and we are like goddamn machines all the time. You are allowed to rest up and recharge once and awhile.
5. Cherish your introverted moments.
Introverted moments are just times you are solely to yourself and if you have introverted traits like me, then you already have the gift of being extremely introspective and thoughtful. Use the moments in your life where you have quiet time to honestly center yourself mentally. Read self-help books that keep you aligned as well.
I want to read You Are a Badass again by Jen Sincero and also Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. Books like these really get you out of your head and they help you combat thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that aren’t true or helpful for us.
6. Accept any illness you have.
I don’t like that I deal with depression, but the faster I accept that it is a part of my life, the more I can stop resisting all of the things that I do to keep me well. Taking medication, going to therapy, intentionally seeking ways to stay mentally well. There are stigmas about these things, but honestly, it is a part of life. The more you put a bad name to illnesses, the more you will feel defined by them
7. Take compliments and actually believe them.
When someone compliments you, run with it! It is not self-centered to want to feel loved and accepted. We all need it from time to time. If you post a bomb ass picture on Instagram and you get complimented believe that those things are actually true.
8. Start praying or look spiritually for guidance.
You don’t have to be overly religious, I am not. But I do believe that sometimes we need guidance from something other than ourselves to keep us going. Now and then, talk to God, or whoever it is you look to and ask for guidance, strength, and answers for life. You can’t do it on your own.
9. Use your talents for service.
I write because not only am I a writing major, but I actually freaking love it and I know what I have to say can help others. I touch on often taboo or touchy things, suicide, being a late-bloomer, but these are things people actually go through. This might be someone’s reality and I share my work because I want to be a voice for other people. So they know they are not alone. Use your talents to propel you further in life, but find some way to give back to others as well.
10. Start to believe you will eventually get there.
You will eventually get to the point where you love who you are because you have honestly been on that journey from the moment you set out to stop berating who you are, all of the mistakes you have made in life, and so on and so forth.
You deserve self-love and you and I both will eventually get there.
It all starts with intention.