As we all know, making friends in our twenties is hard from an easy task and connecting with the ones we already have is hard enough already as well.
For myself, I am very particular about who I call a ‘friend,’ because people may say that they are, but saying it and being one are two completely different things.
We may have people in our lives that we consider to be our friends at the moment, but there are certain traits you must have in order to truly be defined as a friend.
Here are 10 traits someone must have to truly be considered a friend.
1. They are honest.
If you can’t honestly come to me and tell me the truth about myself and how I am fucking up in my life, then you are not a true friend. I need someone who has my best interest at hard so much that they won’t be afraid to be completely real with me, even to the point of hurting my feelings simply because they have my best interest at hand. No one needs someone who is flaky when it comes to the honest truth. Just tell me like it is.
2. They are reliable and actually check in.
Real friends check in with you to see if you are okay! A true friend will always check in with you to see if you are still alive and breathing.
They will call you once in awhile and even though it may not be every day, they will do it when they can. I can’t stand people who claim to be your friends but can’t even check in when needed.
3. They are with you through hard times.
A true friend is with you in good times and in bad. The people I consider true friends in my life today are only considered true friends because they have been with me when they didn’t have to be.
When I went through my hardest time during my life, my closest girlfriend would call me, let me come over to her house when I needed to and would simply listen.
You never know when the last time you see someone is near. It’s so important to hold onto your friends closely.
4. They will support you after a breakup.
A true friend will not watch you fall into a depression after a breakup and not say anything. They will shake you and tell you that you will find better and that you are worth it. A fake friend probably wants you to stay single and miserable. A true friend wants you to find your forever person, however.
5. They aren’t envious of you.
All of us struggle with envy, even if it is not intentionally. But a true friend wants you do have good in your life. They genuinely love and care about you and because of this, they don’t wish ill will on your life. Some ‘friends’ secretly pray for each other’s downfall.
6. You can be yourself around the person.
A true friend is someone you don’t feel you have to put up a front for. You can just be yourself. You can look glammed up, or a mess and they still love you. I can’t stand women who always feel the need to look perfect around their friends. We are human.
7. They are not in competition with you.
Nothing is more exhausting that friends who want to compete all the time. You get engaged, now they want to get engaged. You are a blogger, now they have to do something too. It’s so toxic. True friends support each other from one another’s own lane.
8. They care about your family.
True friends see your family as their own. They care about how they are doing and want to see them healthy and thriving. Don’t bother with friends who don’t give a hoot about family.
9. They are trustworthy.
I can’t stand a ‘friend’ that is a chatterbox. If I disclose something to you that is personal, I expect that it stays between you and I. Nothing is worse than having a friend who smiles in your face, promises to keep a secret, then tells someone behind your back.
10. They have empathy.
A true friend is empathetic to your needs and cares about your emotions and what you deem as important and valuable. They are also considerate and will listen to you, genuinely with the intention of understanding.
If any of these traits describe your current tribe, you are winning! If not, it may be time to reconsider who you call a friend.