I’m going to be 23 next week and like many millennials, I never quite envisioned my life would be the way it is now.
Jobless, semi-miserable and impatient, unsatisfied, tired and confused AF.
A few years ago I certainly anticipated my life would be a little more exciting and hopeful than it seems now and I sure as hell thought I would be graduating from school this summer. But as the saying goes, “We make plans, and God laughs.”
But to keep it 100% with you, I am not going to preach and sound happy go lucky like some speakers and life coaches and act as if I don’t get tired working to get to where I want to be, because it is tiring and sometimes I want to give up.
I struggle with depression and I am still recovering from a relapse that almost took my life last year and sometimes I just want to book an appointment with God in heaven and ask Him WTF is up?
Like God, was I made with a purpose? Was it meant to be this exhausting all the time? Did I have to have suicidal thoughts that almost took me? Is the grind, the sweat, the tears and the pain that life brings, really worth it? Will it pay off?
Because like many others, I don’t live my life believing that I am just here to live. If I am here on this earth, I am here to live my best life ever and get the most I can get out of life. I know it won’t be perfect, but I at least want to be happy.
However, I know like many other millennials, we do this thing where we plan everything.
If we are in school, we say, by 21 I will graduate. If we are in a long-term relationship, we say by 25 I will be married and a year later I will have some kids. By next year, I will have the job of my dreams and I will finally leave my parents home, etc etc.
We have these grandiose expectations of how we want everything to be and more often than not, when things don’t go as planned, when there are major interruptions and adjustments that occur, we are unable to cope and we immediately want to give up and throw in the towel.
But if there is anything I know for sure, to quote Ms. Oprah Winfrey is that the life you plan out for yourself will come with some serious adjustments and shortcuts. However, I don’t want you to let this stop you from going after what you want in life.
I thought I would graduate from school this year but I am going to have to take another two years to finish to get my degree. Sometimes I seriously want to drop out and just say fuck it, let me just secure my spot at Starbucks as a cashier and call it a day because I am tired.
I get tired of fighting through life to get to my dreams and goals when my efforts seem to get me nowhere. Sometimes I just see myself as the odd one out and think, maybe dreams are secured for people I see on television and maybe my expectations are just too high.
Maybe, just maybe, settling is all I am capable of doing, just for my sanity and my happiness. But then I get back to reality and remember the type of human being I am and remember that I was made to win and dream big.
I remember that the people I look up to like Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama didn’t get to where they wanted to be in life by aiming low.
That actresses and actors who fought their way to success in Hollywood, such as the amazing, Viola Davis, who didn’t get her big break until 43, didn’t get to where she wanted to be by giving up and aiming low when the going got tough.
So yes, it can be incredibly tough sometimes and the grind, the effort, the loans for school, the disappointments and dissatisfaction make everything you have ever endured seem pointless, but all of your hard work has not been for nothing.
I’ll be damned if all of this writing I do daily doesn’t eventually land me my dream job at a magazine publication because I love to write and I will not die on this earth with my talent left hungry and unfed.
So if you have dreams and aspirations you want to attain, keep up the fight and know that although the journey isn’t an easy one, life is a grind, but you can get what you want out of it if you choose to aim high and not give up.
Don’t you dare give up on your dreams because it doesn’t seem worth it.