The stereotypical twenty-something is out on a Friday night drinking, meeting people, and having harmless make-out sessions on the dance floor – but not you! Oh, and it’s by choice!
If you wanted to do those things, you could go out there and slay the dance floor, but it just isn’t what you’re looking for these days.
And you’re not alone! There’s quite a few people who would rather be at home with someone they love, watching movies, or maybe having a small group of friends over for drinks – but the kind of drinks that are slowly sipped out of a real glass (not a beer funnel).
1. You feel like dating is exhausting.
Have you been on Tinder lately? One can only handle so many “damn baby” messages. Modern dating makes it exhausting to find something more than just a hookup. People pretend to be into you for a few days, or maybe even weeks, but then they leave with either no reason at all, or a completely ridiculous one.
Really, it is because they have a catalogue of dating candidates at their fingertips and have foolishly moved onto the next one. They want short lived flings, and that’s okay… But it just isn’t what you are looking for.
2. You want to co-own a dog with someone.
If you’re in a relationship and you guys have a dog together, that’s it. You’re pretty much committed. Dogs can live 15 years, so I hope you didn’t jump into dog ownership with a stranger!
If you don’t already have a relationship, but you are so excited to own a dog with your future S.O. that you can’t even fathom, this one’s for you! Dogs rock, and so does owning one with someone you love!
3. You’re choosing comfort over style.
You couldn’t be bothered to put on makeup or your prettiest outfit just to go to class, or to the grocery store. You no longer think “Oh what if I meet someone cute?”
No, your comfort is the goal now, and no man or woman is going to change that for you. Wear those sweatpants. Cue the “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” motto. Take me as I am, boys!
4. You aren’t willing to change for anybody.
You don’t know when it happened, but you no longer care if people don’t like you. You are confident in your personal beliefs and what you bring to the table. Nobody is going to come in and make you change – not even Channing Tatum, though it may be tempting.
You begin to realize that the person you are going to settle down with is going to love you exactly the way you are, so pretending to be someone else is pointless.
5. You can’t handle jumping up and down anymore.
The idea of being in a club literally makes you want to vomit. You would rather watch 42 consecutive hours of paid programming than enter another club ever again.
There is no horizontal movement at the club, only vertical. You get slightly closer to the ceiling for a brief second, then back to the ground. And then repeat about 429 times until one of your friends either goes missing, or states they have to pee (because no woman has ever gone to the bathroom alone and came back alive, obviously).
6. Your goals are gigantic.
You want to buy a house, and a car, and maybe you want to get married and have children, but you also want a career. A full blown adult career where you make lots of money, and start a retirement plan. Yeah, one of those careers.
There is just simply no time to be going out twice every weekend, and wasting away paychecks. You have goals you need to achieve.
7. You are known as the “mom” in your group of friends.
I personally get “cool aunt,” but the premise still remains. You have your life together. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it, at all… But to the world, you are super organized and are confident in yourself.
If anybody has problems, they go to you! When a crisis erupts, you usually give some deep, profound advice that makes everything better.
8. You get excited over organization.
Desk supplies, stationary, and bins all make you overjoyed! The thought of everything in its place puts you at ease. Oh, and new Tupperware nearly puts you into cardiac arrest! Think of all those office lunches, now – revamped! Glorious, glorious, Tupperware.
9. Your idea of a ‘party’ has changed.
You make appetizers and finger foods. You make a pitcher of margaritas, or maybe even a fountain with some fancy cocktail flowing down the sides. You drink out of real glasses, not red solo cups, and you just sit and talk or play card/board games.
You don’t have a beer funnel in your closet anymore, and if you do, it hasn’t been used in years. Oh, and the closest thing you get to a fight at your party is usually a couple fighting over something minor! No more emergency calls because of a brawl at the party. Phew!
10. You have bed clothes.
Not just one or two sets for your bed, but you have multiple sets of sheets and pillow cases. Maybe you even have a second bed in your apartment/house for guests to sleep in when they stay over.
Yeah, you have guests now – and they don’t have to sleep on the floor or in your bed with you. Double the ‘adulting points’ if you have a blanket bin or a blanket ladder.