I am my own person. I have been my own person for almost twenty-two years and to be frank I’m really damn good at it. I’m not interested in a relationship right now, getting married in the distant future, or even thinking about having kids – ever. The most commitment I want in my life is a job with a steady pay check. I am also fully aware that this is not the so called norm for a twenty-two year old college senior. And while I could try to make excuses that everyone could understand like “he wasn’t the right guy,” or “I’m too busy right now,” the fact of the matter is that I’m ok with it. In fact, I’m beyond ok with it. I actually like being single. Here are the reasons why:
1. Personal Hygiene is a Personal Choice
Any “cleaning up” I do is for myself. If I want to skip a day and not shave my legs or wait a little longer before getting my eyebrows done, I can. No one is going to care or even know about it except me. I can dress up as well as the next girl and look damn hot when I do, but without the pressure to impress someone, dressing up and taking care of myself becomes more like fun than a chore. I don’t want to be held up to anyone’s standards of beauty besides my own and being single means that I don’t have to worry what anyone else thinks of me. I only have to decide what I think of me.
2. Alone Time is a Must
We’ve all had those days at school or at work that are simply exhausting. And when you’re sitting at your desk, counting down the minutes left on the clock you think to yourself that there’s nothing in the world you’d rather do than go home, lay in your bed, and watch Netflix – alone. Maybe this is the introvert in me, but people can be exhausting. Seriously. I can be sitting in the same room as another person, with my headphones on so that I’m completely in my own world, and still feel like I have to wonder what that other person is doing/thinking/saying. I can’t fully relax around other people, no matter how close we are. I don’t want to have to worry about someone else’s plans on the days when I’m desperate for alone time and as much as I love a good cuddle session, I really don’t want you in my bed either. If being single means that I don’t have to feel guilty for my alone time, than that’s exactly how I want to be.
3. Communication is Whenever
Sometimes I feel like I’m probably the last remaining twenty-two year old in the US without a smart phone, but because I’m not checking Facebook or sending Snapchats 24/7 I’m constantly away from my phone. I leave it all around my apartment, forget to charge it for days, or just blatantly ignore it. There are times when I’m out and about and I remember that having a phone with low battery is a bad idea, but most of the time I like feeling untethered to a piece of technology or, by extension, whomever is on the other end of it trying to call me.
4. Flexible Scheduling
This bit goes hand in hand with alone time and communication, but when you’re part of a pair scheduling undoubtedly becomes more complicated. Suddenly all your free time isn’t exactly your own to plan and you have to coordinate with someone else. And sure, maybe when you’re actually in a relationship you don’t see it that way; you actually want to make time for the person you’re seeing. I can get behind that. But what about all those times you’ve turned down impromptu drinks with your friends or coworkers because you’ve already made plans with your SO? What about all those times you’ve felt like you had to work to actually arrange a night out with your friends because otherwise you’d never see them? If you and your SO are always together or always feel like you should be together, how are you possibly going to remember that you’re an individual, too? I think I’ve already established how much I like my freedom and my alone time, but I also like the flexibility of being able to do what I want, when I want to do it. And that means that I don’t want to feel guilty for not spending my free time with an SO, either.
5. I’m Just Not Ready
If reasons one through four weren’t enough a dead giveaway, let me spell it out for you: I’m just not ready to be in a relationship. I’m not ready to change who I am right now to accommodate someone else in my life and as long as I’m single, I don’t have to be. I can continue to be selfish with my time and lifestyle without feeling guilty about it. I’m twenty-two years old; I shouldn’t be tied down to anyone or anything that doesn’t make me happy. I should go where I want, do what I want, and feel exactly how I want to feel. And right now, all I want to be is single.