The single women of today can learn a lot from Elaine Benes. And I’m not just talking about her strength, independence, confidence, sexuality, and humor. I’m also talking about what not to do when it comes to modern dating.
Applying what Seinfeld showed us about ‘90s dating to the technologically savvy world of today — namely, the dating app du jour, Tinder — here are some ‘don’ts’ that us women who are after something more than a fling can take away from Elaine’s dating history.
1. Don’t let minor punctuation get in the way
When Elaine broke up with Jake Jarmel because he didn’t use an exclamation point when writing down a phone message, Jerry says, “I’ve never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation.” Well, in the brave new world of text and online chat, punctuation now definitely plays a more prominent role on the ‘perfect guy checklist’.
As a writer, I admit that I’m a stickler for good grammar. I find the misuse of ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ a massive turn off. But I realize that I need to get past this. I mean, sure, think twice if the man can’t string a sentence together, but you don’t want to throw away a potentially great guy just because he writes ‘there’ when it should be ‘their’, or doesn’t use an exclamation point when you feel he should use one.
2. And don’t end it over other trivial matters
If Elaine was on Tinder, she would the queen of the left swipe. That is, she rejects men without a second thought, often over things that are barely discernible to other people. “I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie,” she admits.
I’m certainly not saying that you should date someone who deeply annoys you, but some trivial issues — like minor spelling mistakes — are hardly deal breakers. Remember that you will never find someone who doesn’t have a single quality or habit that irritates you, so learn how to discern between what you can’t live with and what you can live with. Besides, if the guy seems otherwise okay when you’re chatting, at least meet for a drink first, actually talk to him, and then judge.
3. Don’t just go for ‘mimbos’
As Jerry explains, a ‘mimbo’ is the male equivalent of a bimbo. And they’re everywhere on Tinder. They’re posing on a beach, their wet abs glistening in the sun. They’re holding up the fish they caught, flexing their gargantuan arms.
However, as Elaine found out, looks are fragile. They can fade, or — in her case — fall onto a rock. And remember, if you’re after something more than a fling, perhaps be mindful of those guys whose profiles are nothing but shirtless pictures. Especially if one of those shirtless pictures is a mirror selfie and/or involves reclining on a bed. I think it’s pretty obvious what these guys are after.
4. Don’t agree to go out with someone for the wrong reasons
Elaine once went out with a guy to boost her ego when he couldn’t remember first meeting her, and she went on a pity date with the stationery store guy. If you agree to have a Tinder date for similar reasons, or reasons other than the fact that there was something about the guy that you liked, then all you’ll both get out of it is a bad date story. And who wants to be the main character in a bad date story?