1. Now who are you going to text when you’re bored? When something good happens? When you’re trying to look busy? When you have a random thought that nobody will really understand? It is moments like these that remind you, ever so much, how single you are. The first time it happened you probably cried a little, but don’t let this little thing ruin your day. Find a designated person for these moments. Maybe it’s your mom. Maybe it’s an old friend. Maybe it’s a random person in your phone that won’t question you.
2. Every place you enjoy going has relationship memories. EVERY. STINKING. PLACE. The first time you return to one of these places it is going to sting. And the second and the third time, but at some point you start to have new memories at these places and the relationship memories don’t sting as bad.
3. You have to re-tell your break-up story a thousand times. Each acquaintance you run into will ask why you no longer have your old partner attached to your hip. Extended family members don’t understand why he or she is no longer at holidays and the list continues. Come up with a quick, short version of the break-up. Memorize it and leave all the gory details and emotions out. No need to break down a thousand more times.
4. You continuously find your significant other’s things mixed in with your own. The laundry you never do? In three weeks, when you finally decide to stop buying new clothes, you will find their shirt or underwear in your laundry basket. You will sit down, cry and see if the item still smells like your ex. Once you can pull yourself together, put that item out of sight. Preferably in the dumpster.
5. Your family members continuously ask if you have heard from them. Here is the perfect opportunity to master your “Shut the hell up or I will punch you face”, since it is not appropriate to say this to your grandparents aloud. If they don’t get the hint, say no and change the subject at record speed. Don’t let the topic of conversation ruin all the progressive you’ve made.
6. That thing your ex convinced you to buy will break. It is appropriate to cuss and scream and discard this item, but not if it is a puppy.
7. What friends of your ex should you still talk to? All mutually met friends are fair game. All friends you spent significant time with and have some sort of relationship with may be willing to continue that relationship. Just remember, if they were your ex’s friends first then their first loyalty is to your ex. Do not get offended if they don’t want to be friends with you anymore.
8. You can no longer scroll thru your social media history because of all the items relating to your ex. Your Pinterest news feed is probably laced with love quotes and wedding ideas. Your Instagram has dozens of pictures of you and your ex being cute and your Facebook Timeline is full of “love you forever” posts from one another. Do you delete everything or never look through your social media pages again? Deleting everything means your ex never existed and this simply isn’t true. Never looking through your social media pages again is more unlikely than lightening hitting you. So make a decision and start unfollowing all those Pinterest boards.
9. Your bed is suddenly huge and your picture frames are empty. Buy a body pillow and some photos from a local photographer. The pillows may not cuddle back but you will never feel like you’re being strangled in the middle of the night. Also, the art will never bring up old memories of the love you once had.