10 Most Awkward Things People Have Said To Me During Sex
By Bre Denmark
“You know that Nietzsche quote, ‘When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you?’”
“There’s so much here that I like…it’s like a buffet.”
“You literally look like you want to kill yourself right now.”
“Okay, you clearly need some guidance; give me your laptop, let me show you a video.”
Mid-thrust: “Hey, I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.”
“We’re not fucking and we’re not making love. We’re just having sex.”
“See how she’s looking up at him while she’s doing it? That’s actually sexy — wait, where are you going? Okay, okay, I’m turning it off.”
“I think those Ethiopian guys are watching us.”
“Are you actually playing Tetris right now?”
“Do you think you could not roll your eyes right after I cum?”