50 Things To Avoid This Weekend

  1. Getting drunk too early
  2. Online dating websites between the hours of 6 p.m. and 5 a.m.
  3. Television
  4. Mumbleholes at parties
  5. The internet
  6. Crazy people
  7. Taxis, if you’re broke
  8. The subway, if you’re rich
  9. The drive-through between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m.
  10. Your laptop
  11. Diuretics
  12. Parents
  13. Ex-girlfriends
  14. Ex-boyfriends
  15. Police
  16. Confrontation?
  17. Your boss
  18. Four Loko
  19. Rapists
  20. Douchebags
  21. People with business cards
  22. Ravers?
  23. Drama
  24. Your husband/ wife/ children?
  25. The plague
  26. The person you need to stop leading on already because there IS NO WAY IT’S GOING TO WORK OUT, YOU KNOW THAT, STOP IT
  27. St. Patrick’s Day bro events, seriously
  28. Green beer?
  29. Hangovers
  30. Party poopers
  31. Lost keys/ cell phones/ wallets/ passports
  32. Mom jeans?
  33. Heroin dens
  34. Excessive porn consumption
  35. Collection agencies
  36. Binge drinking
  37. Email chains in which you were for some unknowable reason included
  38. Anchovies/ calamari
  39. Shame spirals
  40. Analysis paralysis
  41. Bad OkCupid dates
  42. Large, predatory, wild animals
  43. Cargo pants
  44. Thoughts about your student loans
  45. Facebook!
  46. News channels
  47. Ex-girlfriend despair
  48. Self-loathing
  49. Much-dreaded obligations
  50. Assholes Thought Catalog Logo Mark
image – sparklig

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