Cat Cafes

Cat cafes are a real thing. I just now found this out. What is a cat cafe, you ask? Allow me to explain, but not before qualifying that those who might be reading this who are loud, irresponsible, prone to uncontrollable bouts of obnoxious enthusiasm, and of below-average intelligence, also known as “dog people,” need read no further — may I suggest closing your browser and focusing your energies on making sure your pet doesn’t take a sh-t on your new mattress instead. Yes, at the risk of alienating a huge portion of TC’s readership, I must deign this post a post ‘for’ the more cultured of us; the more stable, mature, calm individuals capable of keeping it together under high stress circumstances and engaging in the deepest of deep discourse with our stylish friends who are much more cultured than you and yours. Also known as “cat people.”

Tabby cat

The cat cafe is a wildly innovative concept, and I’m going to go over it in much more specific detail soon, but for the reader to truly understand the concept of the cat cafe I will first attempt to explain what a cat is. A cat is a small, some might say fragile creature that was created by God to amuse human beings by being (statistically) ‘perfect’ fodder for YouTube videos and internet image macros, or pictures of cats being cats with superimposed text about being cats.

Cats have four legs and a face and a body, which makes them very easy to pet them and love them for their average ~12 year lifespans. The opposite of a cat is a dog, which also has four legs and a face and a body, but, curiously, lacks brains and the ability to be catlike.

A cat cafe is a cafe with cats. Humans pay to go into cat cafes for an allotted amount of time and play with the cats. They are charged an hourly fee for entry into the cat cafe. Inside the cat cafe, cats roam freely, playing with each other, playing with humans, and feeling positive about things like ribbon and upholstry. The Wikipedia entry for cat cafe — where I’m getting 100% of my information about cat cafes — says that cat cafes are popular in Japan; the city of Tokyo has 39 of them, by last count. 39 cat cafes. That’s so many cat cafes that many are suited to meet specific human-cat needs, carrying only specific categories of cats: black cats, fat cats, rare breed cats, ex-stray cats.

Cat cafe in Kyoto

So, in Japan, there are cat cafes. This isn’t a new concept — the first cat cafe opened in Taiwan in 1998. But why go to a cat cafe, anyways? Here are the pros and cons of the cat cafe:


  • Get to see cats
  • Get to pet cats
  • Get to play with cats
  • Get to use laser pointers, flashlights, and ribbons to play with cats
  • Get to hold cats
  • Get to see cats play with other cats


Duh, there are no cons, you dumb idiot.

Obviously, cat cafes rule, and the inhabitants of every urban center deserve at least twenty within a two-mile radius of their place of residence. But are there dog cafes, you might ask? To that I answer — who cares? Cat cafes are real; the future is now. Airplane tickets to Tokyo are as low as $796 in mid-February. It will be cold there then but it won’t matter because there are so many cat cafes to spend time in. Who’s down? TC mark


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  • Kitteh

    So incredibly down. i absolutely have to visit one of these cafes or else my life will never be complete.

  • Gregory Costa

    I’d say my cat is like the Rose from The Little Prince…vain and naive, but I love the fur ball.. even when she eats up all my eletrical cords and refuses to let me work in peace. 

  • tao

    there’s a cat cafe/lounge-thing near my place, i always see professional-seeming asian women w/ giant macbooks inside seeming bored

    • Anonymous


    • catluv

      what is the name/location of said cafe i must know it is urgent i need to go to the cat cafe plz tell me asap!!!!

  • Daniel

    I thought this was a Brad Pike piece. Did he ghost-write it? Did you channel him?

    • Anonymous

      i did channel him

      • McJenna

        I’d like more men writing about cats. I can haz?

  • mya

    I don’t know if I agree with your first paragraph…it’s full of contradiction
    I have both dog and a cat

  • dahlia

    Proud Cat Person here. I wish there was a cat cafe where I lived. I’m having withdrawals from not being able to have pets at the moment. :(

  • hexmark

    Dogs: Can be trained to detect cancer in the human body.

    Cats: Can shit in a box

    • LazyReader

      ….and thank god they can and do.  Cats give you dignity and freedom.  I’d hate to have my life dictated by needing to walk something and then carry its shit around town in a little bag looking for a garbage can. 

      • hexmark

        >implying dogs can’t be trained to shit and pee in the same spot

  • beatrice

    Just saying, there are cat cafes in tokyo but with every cat are a thousand more dogs. I swear, every time I was walking down a street in tokyo I saw at least 3 dogs. Not to mention the vehicle spas for dogs. 

    Also, please please tell me the first paragraph was satire…

    • McJenna

      The whole thing is…

  • FanForLife

    Spanky has a tear in her eye for that last comment, “who cares”

  • EarthToNichole

    I am relieved that this is not about cafes that serve cat.

  • Julian Assange


  • Karim Kazemi

    BSG, I read this thinking that “Cafe” in the title was pronounced like “chafe”, because there was no accent on the e. I kept reading hoping that at some point I would find out what exactly a “Cafe pronounced like chafe” is, but then I realized what you meant and felt equal if not more excitement than what I initially expected to feel.

  • Sarah

    Everyone should visit a cat cafe in Utsunomiya (100km from Tokyo) called “Felis”. All the cats are rescue cats and therefore up for adoption :)

  • Rei

    Just commenting to say I HAVE BEEN TO THE CAT CAFE IN THE PICTURE


    …also that there are, to my knowledge, dog cafes.

  • Anonymous

    Cats are undeniably useless, however, they are exceptionally good being entertaining and being fuzzy, so I can not challenge the author on this article. 

    However, there is a certain faux pas in actually admitting you’re a “cat person”

    • leapingsweetly

      A “faux paw,” if you will.

  • Sarah N. Knutson

    For the record, my roommate’s 3 cats have peed/shat on my bed/purse/shoes/house’s walls more in the last year than my lifetime worth of dogs peed/shat on the floor/any of the above.

    • LazyReader

      Maybe it’s you.

    • McJenna

      You can’t use my crayons cuz you likes dogs. humph!

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