Because Thursday was your Friday. And you’ve spent the first half of the day trying to recover from your hangover. It’s fine to spend the next half of your day acting like you’re working — getting the minimal amount done — then take off at 4:15 with blankets in mind. Your couch will be waiting for you.
Because mehhhh. Whatever. Your friends are great but tonight they’re going to the same bar with the same people and it honestly doesn’t even seem that fun to you. And all your clothes are dirty anyways, and you don’t feel like trying to concoct some random yet stunning outfit, and your hair’s doing that weird puffy thing, and your cell phone ran out of batteries at noon today and you haven’t bothered to plug it in or turn it on, and there are three beers left from the six-pack you bought earlier this week, and it’s too cold outside anyways. It’s fine.
Because an inner voice is urging you to drink an entire bottle of wine by yourself tonight. Listen to that persistent feeling that you must be alone and consume a bottle of wine, YouTube, and 80s epic fantasy films all night. It’s NBD. Grab the blankets, space heater, cigarettes, and throw pillows. Dive in.
Because you accidentally started drinking at 3. Oops. One Casual Friday beer at 3 p.m. might lead to an early departure for happy hour with your co-workers at 4:30. It’s 7:30 now and you’ve already revealed way too much personal stuff to the intern. You’re supposed to be his boss! When you get home at 8:30 you realize you’re wasted, and by 9:15 you’ve fallen asleep on the couch with a half-eaten, poorly prepared quesadilla on the coffee table in front of you. It’s better this way, though, otherwise you’d be blacked out by now and all sorts of other embarrassing stuff.
Because you have someone warm. It’s totally acceptable to stay in on a Friday night when you have someone warm. Isn’t that like, half the point of going out anyways?
Because you forgot. It’s good on your bank account and your body. Immerse yourself in whatever creative project you’re working on, or in a good book you just bought, and forget to go out entirely. Turn off your cell phone while you’re at it. Dedicating your night to something other than binge drinking is a good change of pace every once in awhile.
Because you have a full day ahead of you tomorrow. You can either stumble through your full day tomorrow drunk from the night before and holding back projectile vomit, or you can wake up early and like, not feel like death. Your choice.
Because not tonight. It may be that you don’t need all that sh-t tonight. All the posturing, makeup, sidelong glances, forced small-talk with random people. It’s easy to be tired of that sometimes. Sometimes it’s better just to hang out with a good friend and play Yahtzee or whatever.
Because sleeping just seems like a much better option. Who needs alcohol, loud music, long bar lines and dickhead bartenders when you have a comfortable mattress, pillows, and a DVD player?