Why People Are Endearing

People are endearing because they want to get to know each other. Rather than compete like alphas, two grown adults are curious about each other; they vie for approval and desire closeness. People want to meet other people, they want to touch, smile, discuss, interact. People are endearing because they seek each other out. Their unconscious attempts to relate, to be relevant, and be validated are childishly innocent when viewed from a certain angle – we all just want to be liked.

Similarly people are endearing when they want to be famous. While true fame is undoubtedly a nightmare, and vanity is unquestionably ugly, the root of the desire for fame is simply the need to feel accepted. Or maybe it’s just to be adored. How endearing and tragic of people to work so hard and dedicate so much of their mental capacity – to put themselves through terrible physical and emotional conditions – just to be adored, just to be accepted.

People are endearing when they get together for the purpose of being close to each other. This is otherwise known as “hanging out.” While perhaps veiled by layers of attitude, irony, and persona, the true purpose of hanging out is to bond emotionally. For this the sheer level of hanging out in which people engage is innocent and right. It’s hard to not see it as endearing.

People are endearing because they gather in large groups. Instead of staying at home with a group of friends they seek out places like bars to drink and be around people they don’t know. Instead of staying in their own back yards they go to parks to play and sit around those with whom they’re unfamilar. Instead of listening to music in their bedrooms they go to music festivals to dance with people from other cities, states, and countries. People innocently want to be around other people, and for this they’re endearing.

People are endearing because they have traditions. Having dinner every night with a salad and a floral arrangement as a centerpiece is not necessary for life, yet people do it anyway. Cheersing before shots no longer saves us from potential poisoning, yet we cheers enthusiastically and without question. Different forms of dance do nothing for our physical livelihood, yet every culture on the planet has its own. It’s endearing that these kinds of things are the things that give people a sense of identity, place and security – that these kinds of things are what we equate with Home.

People are endearing because they’re forever seeking out happiness. All anyone wants to be is happy, however misguided our behavior might be. People have entire philosophies dedicated to the pursuit of happiness, not to mention myriad daily practices. All of this is done in the name of feeling good, and it’s difficult to find fault with such an innocent wish. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Sreejith K

I am the co-publisher of Thought Catalog. Follow me on Twitter. I also use a pen name called Holden Desalles.

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