America sure is winning hard lately, isn’t it? Let me count the ways America is winning. Batshit Republicans, spineless Democrats, a tanking economy, rampant corruption, a terrible job market, widespread diabetes, corporate evil… I should stop before I get too upset over here. But not before adding one more: deep fried butter! Yes, the Iowa State Fair has degenerated to the point of instead of serving real food, they’re selling fat… dipped in fat… then fried in fat, then topped with sugar! Jesus.