Reject. To refuse to believe, accept, or consider.
Over the course of our lives we will be rejected thousands of times. There will be many people and institutions who refuse to believe in us, who refuse to accept us, and who refuse to consider us. Each rejection will be a monumental moment in our lives. The the ball is in our court now.
I’ve been rejected. I’ve had people who refused to believe in me, and their refusal turned into an inability to believe in myself.
I’ve had people refuse to accept me for who I truly am, which made me stop accepting myself.
I’ve had people and institutions refuse to even consider me as an option. Sometimes it was for a spot on a softball team, for a part in a play, for a job offer, for a publication, or even for a friendship or relationship.
I even started refusing to consider myself for those options. Every rejection made me feel worthless, they made me stop believing in my talents and accepting myself.
I’ve wanted to quit. Let’s face it, on occasion I have quit. As human beings we have this inherent need to feel accepted and to be validated. We can’t help it. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that the only opinion that matters is our own, those rejections hurt us and sometimes they break us.
Let’s be pessimistic for a second here, let’s imagine that you get rejected your entire life that you are never once accepted. Every article that you send in to be published gets rejected. Every relationship you are in ends in a breakup. Every job you apply for turns you down.
What now? How do you know when to just quit? Is there ever a time when you should just quit?
It’s an age-old saying, and it’s as cliché as they come, but it only takes one yes to propel you to success.
Thousands of rejections, but imagine if just one said yes. One yes from a publisher to propel your writing career. One yes from the right person to fulfill your happily ever after, and one yes to secure a lifelong career in your dream job.
Think about the magic of it all. You can spend decades being rejected and being told and feeling like you’re not good enough, but all those negative opinions, the ones you spent hours, days crying and hurting over, won’t mean a damn thing once you get that yes.
It’s hard to not give up or to quit entirely once we’ve been rejected once, let alone after thousands of nos. Sometimes we do have to take a moment to take a break, step back, and reevaluate.
I often found it cathartic to wallow a little. It’s ok to be hurt by rejection, again we are human, but we have to take that rejection and use it to find a new direction.
Sometimes rejection is just a way of saying you’re on the wrong road. We can have the same destination as others, but we can’t always get there the same way.
I’ve been rejected. I’ve cried. I’ve quit. I’ve stopped believing. But I’ve also wiped my tears, brushed off the dirt, and started believing in myself again.
You can refuse to believe, accept, or even consider me. You are one opinion. You are just one no. I know that my yes is out there somewhere, and I until I find it I reject your rejection.
Every no adds wood to the fire, and every fire breathes a yes.