I’ve been lost for a while now. I’ve been searching for myself and fighting through tempest seas, hoping to find what I’m looking for on the other side. I used to think that I knew exactly who I was, and that I knew all the pieces that made me, well, me. I think I got lost searching for myself because I was so convinced that who you are is an inherent and statuary set of rules, feelings, and beliefs.
What I’ve learned, though, is that human beings are malleable and fluid creatures that are in a constant state of becoming.
Young adults in their twenties get so lost because they search for something that doesn’t exist. We are searching for a concrete sense of self that we think is necessary to become a successful human being. It’s true that most of us have a set of beliefs or certain mindsets that stay with us most of our lives, but even those “concrete rules” we’ve lived by all our lives are subject to adjustments or even dissolution.
There is a false thinking that we have to be bound by certain characteristics, beliefs, or commandments, but that is what causes us to fall apart or go into crisis when those things are put into question. We see that scrutiny as an attack against us personally and reflect the destruction of abstract ideas through our physical being.
We must accept that every human being is capable of change, and that change is in fact necessary to the balance of life. We are not stagnant creatures. We have the right to change who we are at any given moment. If you are living your life right, then you are constantly learning, questioning, and discovering. Therefore, who you are as a person reflects those changes.
There is a lot of pressure to fall into a crisis when you “don’t know who you are.” But who we are is determinate of the place, circumstance, and stage of life we are currently living. My advice is to never stop searching for who you are and to embrace the constant changes to your soul, spirit, and self.
We are not meant to be the same person our entire lives.