I Am Not A Tranny!
By Branden Lee
I’ve frequently been getting asked on Grindr if I’m a girl or a tranny. It happens at least twice a week. I’m no stranger to having my gender questioned. It happened all the time during my childhood, but I thought those days were over. I guess not.
I think it happened a lot when I was younger because I used to be chubby and had huge tits. I still have a large chest, but instead of being man-boobs, they are now pecs. Also I’ve always had a girly voice. I don’t think my voice has ever deepened – even though that’s what’s supposed to happen to every boy during puberty. I’m pretty certain it’s never happened to me.
I’m sure my high-pitched voice will always be something for which I’m ridiculed. But it’s just another of the many things that makes me unique and adds to the ridiculousness/ outrageousness/ fabulousness that is me.
I’m an effeminate gay. I like girly things. Girly movies, clothes, TV, etc. Many gays do. I’m not ashamed of what I like. I even like wearing makeup and have no problem wearing girl clothes. I’m envious that girls have so many options when it comes to wearing revealing clothing. I want to wear stuff that’s tight and accentuates my favorite assets. I know that I’m a busty boy and want to show it off.
I find it strange that other gays on a gay dating app would try to criticize me or make fun of me for wearing makeup. I think I obviously look like a boy in my pictures. I don’t have long hair. I am just wearing a low-cut shirt in one photo and cut off shorts in another. The only make up I’m wearing is some foundation, which I doubt is that visible, and some eyeliner. Yes, I guess I’m completely wearing girl clothes, but I don’t think I look like a girl. My huge biceps would be the biggest indicator of that.
The worst pick-up line I’ve ever received was when I went to my very first gay club. Some guy who looked like a crackhead came up to me and said, “Are you a boy or a girl? You’re so pretty I can’t even tell.”
There’s nothing wrong with resembling a girl and being androgynous. I’ve always embraced my feminine side, which is admittedly more prominent than my masculine side. But I’m a boy. I like being a boy. I don’t want to be a girl. I’ve always said that the only reason why’d I’d ever want to be a girl is because they get to wear sluttier clothes, find rich men, get pregnant, and get enough child support to maintain their lifestyles forever.
I used to get really offended whenever people questioned my gender, but now it’s whatever. I know who I am. I know what I like. I’m not ashamed of anything. I can wear as much makeup as I want, and as many girl clothes as I want. I’m comfortable with myself, my sexuality, and my gender.
It’s just sad that it’s even an issue. As gays, we already have to go through so much in order to be comfortable with ourselves and embrace who we are. But apparently even after coming to terms with your sexuality, you still face more discrimination from other gay men regarding your masculinity.
I hate that there is effemiphobia in the gay community. Effemiphobia is a dislike or discrimination towards feminine gays. There are so many guys that are turned off by them and believe that since we’re boys, we must act ultra masculine. Although, I must admit that I’m not particularly attracted to feminine guys. But I think that’s just because I’m already so feminine myself that I’m naturally drawn to a guy who’s my opposite.
I think that gay men who have a problem with feminine gays still aren’t comfortable with themselves and have issues with their own masculinity. It’s just disheartening that it seems like a significant portion of the gay community feels the need to hate on feminine gays.
I find that feminine gays are the ones who are most comfortable with themselves. We feel free to be who we are and unapologetically embrace both our masculine and feminine sides. We don’t feel pressured to have to defend that we still feel like boys. We can do whatever we want without worrying about not being perceived as “man enough”—a phrase that has absolutely no real or logical meaning.
I love who I am and am not going to change for anyone. It’s unfortunate that the masculine men I’m attracted to tend to be less open to feminine guys, but I’m optimistic that I’ll find one that will embrace all of my feminine qualities.
As Lady Gaga says “Don’t be a drag, just be a queen.” Although with so many saying I look like a girl, I’m sure I’d make a gorgeous drag queen.