Producer’s note: Someone on Quora asked: How can I tell if my man has another women. What are the particular signs to look for? Here is one of the best answers that’s been pulled from the thread.
Having been in the private investigation business for over a decade, we have learned that there are dozens of “signs” that point to cheating and not all will apply to any given case. I have become a big believer in so-called “woman’s intuition” since our investigations nearly always confirm our clients’ suspicions.
Sometimes that inner voice that tells you that something just ain’t right is actually a compilation of a number of small and large clues (some of which you consciously perceive and some perhaps subconsciously).
To boil the above down to a manageable equation, an extra-marital (or extra-curricular) affair requires three key components: time, money and focus. If you suspect you are being cheated on, take a closer look at those three areas:
Time: An affair takes time out of your day. It’s not just the time you actually spend with your lover. There’s also the time it takes to make the arrangements (the dinner/hotel reservations, setting up your alibi, travel time, etc.). If your significant other suddenly seems to have less time to spare, it could be due to a second love interest.
Money: An affair takes money. The cost of hotel rooms, meals, cocktails, flowers, gifts, etc., adds up. If the cheater is sloppy, some of those expenses are going to show up on the credit/debit card statements. Even if he’s careful and always pays cash, look for a dip in your available monthly household income. Also, keep an eye out for telltale receipts (if he has to guess at her lingerie size, he will want to keep the receipt in case the gift has to be exchanged).
Focus: All of this clandestine planning, sneaking and screwing inevitably takes a mental toll on even the most experienced cheater. He will be less able to concentrate on other aspects of his life — family, friends, work, etc., and it will show. Take note if he seems increasingly distracted, stressed, short-tempered or distant.
If you see enough of the above signs to confirm your initial concerns, you may want to consult with a divorce lawyer. If you still need more proof, hire a good P.I.!