Latest Posts

You’re Too Fat, Cat

Your role as the primary affection receptacle remains unaffected, has only grown in fact, particularly after Human Jennifer left to “find a boyfriend with a real job.” More to love, more to squeeze, that’s what I say.

Let’s Ban High School Football

But while eliminating high school bullying entirely is tricky as children will always be psychopathic little goblins to some extent, this one’s easy: cancel football.

I Throw The Best Parties

Why don’t you take a seat on my air mattress? I filled it to optimum capacity before you got here in case you wanted to sit on a soft object.

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