When You Aren’t Single, But You Aren’t In A Relationship Either

Unsplash / Tom Pumford

So, you meet someone.

They seem nice. In fact, after a while you begin to like them and like sharing your presence with them.

You also state to them that you want to go out with them, to get to know them better.

The R word, as in relationship, won’t be in the plans — but you won’t tell them that.

They will figure it out eventually, right? Especially after you habitually sidestep the question once you spend enough time with them.

Your response? You aren’t looking for anything serious, you just want to have fun. You convince yourself of this to refrain yourself from tying yourself down, but also to convince your “significant other” to stay in your own twisted way.

They think, ‘He/she may change their mind.’  Your thoughts? Not a chance.

But ironically, while you are enjoying the fruits of your labor, you realize your “significant other” has started doing the same. You don’t like it, not one bit.

But you won’t change your behavior to prevent this from happening again.

This is what you call a situationship. When you aren’t single, but you aren’t in a relationship, either. It’s the weird scenario that the old heads frequently lament us millennials for. We are scared to commit, so we use these tactics to preserve our hearts.

But eventually, you realize that this game of fire will eventually flame out. Your “significant other” will request more from you. Demand more from you and eventually, command it. And you will be reluctant to deal with their expectations on that level.

So they leave, and you attempt to find someone with the same thought process as you, but soon you will realize that the relationships you are seeking can’t fill the void.

The void of longing for affection, but your fear of hurt blocks that, so you settle for partial. It’s a real phenomenon and you realize that it’s quite common.

You also realize that the people you put in these scenarios behave the same. In fact, most of your friends do, too.

You are scared to get hurt, partially because you were hurt in the past, so getting in situationships satisfies both sides of your complicated ego; you won’t ever be lonely, but you won’t ever be hurt, either.

But you will see one day that you are actually hurting the other person. You are getting their hopes and dreams up, in which they envision that you will see the outstanding person in front of you.

But you don’t, and you will have an endless pool of sad emotions to clean up from the plethora of people you hurt over the years.

But the universe will work in its strange, strange ways, and you’ll meet someone who could potentially change the game.

Until they pull a you on you, giving you false hope, while extracting from your time. Unfairly. TC mark

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