Being born in the twentieth century to a family that could be considered quite avant-garde, I never really had to think about the *traditional gender roles*. Both of my parents have equally important careers, and they always shared the house bills. They probably have equal cooking skills (which is none) and my mother paid at restaurants just as much as my dad did. He never seemed emasculated about that — he really enjoyed having such a cool wife and she always loved having a great husband (and they are still together). But apparently the traditional gender roles are making a big comeback everywhere — I live in France and the conservatives here are going crazy about equalitarian education.
So, for the average man that wants to be attractive to the twentieth-first century woman, here are some tips to keep up with the modern woman – or invent a time machine and go #backtohekitchen era:
1. Make eye contact
Real eye contact. Staring at my breasts doesn’t count.
From what I’ve read around in the manosphere, man sometimes have a difficulty in just controlling themselves around women, specially if they are dressed in a mainstream sexy way. So be a man and prove you can overcome that difficulty by keeping your eyes away from my breasts!
2. Be thankful
In my country we have a little song that says excuse-me, please and thank you are the 3 little words that make me polite. So yes, we do appreciate you thanking the waiter when he/she fills your water, or when someone holds the door for you.
If a girl offers to pay for drinks, smile and say thank you. She’s not trying to emasculate you, and if you’re feeling less of a man because of that maybe you should see a specialist.
3. Keep your hair clean
Having lived in France and in the US, I found it weird that some men don’t like showering everyday. So please; if you hair is short or long, it doesn’t really matter as long as you wash it everyday.
4. Learn how to sew or knit, and how to iron.
Once a guy sewed a part of my dress that ended up ripped off after a date. I was going to work the next morning and I wouldn’t’ve had anything to wear if he wasn’t he able to sew. I think I fell in love with him right at that moment.
So yes — women don’t come with innate sewing or ironing skills for that matter. I actually try to avoid buying clothes that need to be ironed too much, because I suck at it, and I don’t have the time to do so. So if you want these things to be properly done either pay someone to do them, or learn to do them yourself. Be a man and take care of your clothes!
5. Dress cute all the time
Walking out of the house with your high school sweats may feel comfortable, but it telegraphs your I-don’t-give-a-fuck-ness. And that’s not attractive to women. Spend 10 fewer minutes on ROK or porn websites and take the time to put together a nice outfit. Dressing up well makes wonder for every man. Even if you’re not the standard beauty, just being well dressed makes you very attractive.
And remember — you could run into the woman of your dreams on way to the supermarket.
6. Act like her satisfaction in bed is guaranteed
For about 50 years now, women have been allowed to enjoy sex — it’s not much if we think that men were never prohibited to do so, so make sure she really enjoys it.
Everybody knows where the clitoris is, and if you don’t please ask for directions, no shame there! You can never go wrong by focusing on pleasing your woman.
7. Reward your woman for being manly. (whatever that means)
One of the best compliments I ever got from a man was: aren’t you afraid? (yes I know that’s a question, but I felt really good for people seeing me like such a brave person). Years of having to do domestic chores only, many women never learned to do more than that. I know my grandmother only learned to do the traditional feminine chores.
Fortunately around my house I got to see my mom trying to fix the printer and the computer my dad doing the dishes – they did what they enjoyed doing. The next time the girl you’re with fixes, lifts, or grills something, acknowledge the hell out of it.
8. Text or call back promptly. Show interest and be vulnerable.
I once met a guy that right after we exchanged numbers said, I’m calling you tomorrow, I’m not like those guys that have to wait 2 days to call. I knew at that moment he was boyfriend material. (Yes he did call the next day, and every day for as long as we dated). Vulnerability is beautiful and really powerful. Be responsive. Give compliments. Show enthusiasm. It’s attractive, and addictive.
9. Make her that sandwich after all.
There are few things more effective than making food for a woman, or for another person for that matter. It shows your dominion over the domestic sphere. And well, nothing is sexier than a man who can cook (ask any woman).
And with all the Jamie Oliver shows going on TV, it’s pretty easy to do something. No excuses. Because if you’re good at it, you can be sure she’ll stick around.