Being Difficult To Love Doesn’t Make You A Failure, It Makes You Human

Vladimir Kudinov
Vladimir Kudinov

You either give your heart or someone steals it. You lose your mind. Your beliefs change. You become part of someone’s life. Someone who makes you or breaks you takes over your precious memory lane. Love sucks. It sucks in all your time and energy. Before you know it, it’s over. You try to close your broken heart. You change your mind. You struggle to bring back or to look for the better you. But love ruined you. You replay everything over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong or did you ever do something right.

You can’t help but think maybe it was you. Maybe you were just too difficult to love.

But love is the best part of living. You make a choice. There is no wrong answer because whether you win or lose, you learn.

Maybe it’s wrong to think and to trust that everyone means every word they say. You see who they are in front of the people who matter to them and in front of the people they know and barely know. One way or another they try to hide some parts of them to different people. Showing others only the side of them others might like. They don’t always act out their words. This is what others fail to realize. It’s not always what it seems. It’s never ideal nor real. Not easy nor difficult.

But you choose to trust because you’re willing to do whatever it takes to prove to them that, no matter what, you love them. When they surprise you with their dark side, with their reality, you run. You run away from what you think you can’t handle. Leaving them with questions and memories they replay over and over again with the hope that your reasons to turn your back on them help them move on and not hold them back.

No matter how strong you think your guard around your heart is, it happens to you too. Someone leaves you with questions whether you are worthy of any kind or you are just too difficult to love.

What makes us happiest won’t always be easy. I have doubts and regrets but I choose to focus on the good. Even if the only good that will ever come out of this is the memory of your smile.

I pray you find someone who loves you unconditionally, someone who is eternally grateful for having you.

Someone who values you even in your darkest. Someone willing to bend to prevent you from breaking. I hope you find someone who will not judge your past but will love you more for who you become without trying to change who you really are. Someone who you can wake up to feeling refreshed and at peace with. Someone who supports your choices and respects your decision. Someone who makes you smile and reminds you to laugh. Someone with whom you will be free to express yourself worry free. Someone you won’t need to hide yourself from but will protect your secrets like they were their own. Someone who will never make you feel you are easy to get or difficult to love because you’ve made things easier and comfortable for me.

You make me want to be better. You challenge my weakness and you strengthen my faith. You have brought out the best in me even as I struggle with my worst.

This is why I want the best for you.

Love can mean a lot of different things and can be shown in many different ways.
Don’t be afraid of loving and of not being loved back. Love is love. Anything is possible. I realized that when I fell in love. I found someone special in a room full of ordinary. Suddenly there was peace in both heart and mind.

You’re not difficult to love. When love is right, you feel it. Difficulties come to test love’s sincerity. When love is true, you know it won’t be easy but to the one who loves you, you make it worth it. TC mark

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