I have spent a lot of time – probably too much time – opening up to men in recent months. It always goes the same way: a flirty text message here and there becomes texting each other regularly, late night text messages turn into late night phone calls, a first date happens and he seems really interested, but then he virtually disappears after the fact.
What the fuck?
It’s natural to then wonder what happened. It’s natural to feel hurt by the absence of conversation and to want to text or call them and demand an answer, because the whole disappearing act is so high school-esque, man.
Sure, we know they’re probably just busy with work or hanging out with friends. We try not to overthink it. We busy ourselves with our own lives and limit our restless fingers to the one simple “Hey, hope everything is okay! Miss you. :-)” text message. But then it goes seemingly unnoticed for days on end and we know he can’t possibly be that busy.
So, in an attempt to get us off their back, we are dubbed the “crazy” girls.
Crazy. The word itself is enough to set off a ticking time bomb inside of us. Give us any other moniker besides crazy, because that word implies so many things we are not even close to, right?
Because we are not crazy for wondering why he didn’t text back after almost a month of every day conversations. We’re not crazy for asking for an explanation. No one is “crazy” for wanting to know what happened, and being called crazy just makes us want to lash out full-on Miranda Lambert or Carrie Underwood style – thus creating this “crazy” girl he speaks of.
Here’s the truth: what he sees as crazy is just our way of trying to show we care and that we are invested in the potential of what’s before us. We trust the words he says and we believe that he is genuinely interested in us.
The real problem is that he is too scared to own up to his actions. He screwed up and instead of just saying that he’s sorry or isn’t interested anymore, he hurls insults and tosses around the word crazy to make us believe it’s our fault that he’s a dick.
I’m the girl who has been called crazy for asking a guy to be straightforward with me. I bake desserts and remember tiny details and try not to double text unless it’s important. I care too much, and yes, I’m persistent when I believe there is potential. I may overthink most things in my life and I frequently say the wrong things at the wrong time, but do you know what that makes me? Human.
We are human. We care a lot and that comes off as “crazy,” because he doesn’t care at all. But his inability to take charge of his own choices doesn’t mean what he says about you is true. That just means you move on and find the man who sees your actions for what they are: a tangible example of how much you care – not a man’s messed-up, scared version of what “crazy” is.