Things I Did While Watching HBO’s Girls
By Blake Butler
Started writing this blog post
Got up to throw away the ice cream container
Got up and brushed my teeth with this new electric toothbrush I was given and didn’t want to use but figured “might as well use it” since my mouth felt weird with the taste of the milk of the ice cream a while after having eaten it
Took a piss
Rewound the scene after coming back from the bathroom because I heard the main girl on the show make an awkward date rape joke and wanted to see if it was actually funny but it seemed like a joke I’d heard before
Thought 3-4x about plugging in my iPod to update the new album I put on it today before actually getting up and getting my iPod off the floor where I left it to remind myself to do that and the wire to connect it to my laptop and then actually performing the update though then there wasn’t enough room left on the iPod so I had to go through my list and figure out some things to delete that I wouldn’t miss to make room for the new stuff
Some crunches with the laptop angled on the coffee table so I could see it from the floor
Thought about people commenting “wow I actually started to read this” on this post when it is live up on Thought Catalog if I actually decide to send it to Thought Catalog when I’m done which I feel pretty much like is going to happen
150 crunches
Wondered what my sperm count is without actually trying to figure out what the count maybe could be and if it seems like I’m normal or high or low or something based on “ambient factors”
Remaximized the video window and laid down so I would stop looking at the other tabs and could actually pay attention to the show and then immediately realized I should write down I did that and so unminimized it so I could do that and then, and here now I am projecting, remaximized the video window and laid back down, though now I just realized there’s only three minutes left in this episode so I guess I’ll just wait until it’s over and “start fresh” with the maximizing and the laying down for the next episode
Thought about getting up to get the gummy bears from my kitchen table but felt too lazy to get up and get them now that I had started laying down though was not too lazy to sit up and type that that’s what I’d been thinking and while I was at it again with the computer read whatever new tweets other people had written and looked at my Gmail inbox even though the tab said there was no new mail
Pulled up my shirt to see how flat my stomach seemed
Laid back down with the intent of not adding anything else to this list so I can actually for real focus on watching the show until the end of the current episode and then be done with this and hopefully feel tired enough to go bed
Got up and drank a glass of water and stood there