The Non-Fan’s Guide To The NFL Playoffs: Part 5, Super Bowl Sunday

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The day of reckoning will soon be upon us. Super Bowl Sunday sadly concludes The Non-Fan’s Guide, but not before you get some ammo for Super Bowl party conversation that does not involve the commercials.



Sunday, 6:25 pm (ET) Seattle Seahawks vs Denver Broncos



The basics: This game’s matchup is what many predicted it would be, and that’s exactly the way football purists want it. The league’s top offense in scoring and yardage in Denver (the orange team) squares off against the top defense in scoring and yardage in Seattle (the blue team) for the first time in Super Bowl history. This will also be the first time the game will be played outdoors in a “cold-weather” city, and will mark the first time that two states share hosting duties, since the New York Giants/Jets’ MetLife Stadium is actually in East Rutherford, New Jersey.




Some trivia:


1. Should Peyton Manning lose the Super Bowl and still play next season, New Jersey will tax about 102% of his earnings for the day. This Forbes article breaks down the NJ tax law.



2. Should Peyton Manning win the Super Bowl, he will be the first starting quarterback to win Super Bowls with two different teams.



3. 30 seconds of commercial air time will cost you $4 million this year.



4. The National Chicken Council estimates that America will eat 1.25 billion chicken wings during Super Bowl XLVIII.



5. Despite a dominant performance during the regular season and impressive wins on divisional and championship weekends, no player on the Seahawks roster has played in a Super Bowl before.


Key Vocabulary:


Derrick Coleman: Seahawks fullback (read: large man who helps block and occasionally runs the ball), and the first legally deaf player on an NFL offense has went viral on this Duracell commercial released a few weeks ago. Originally undrafted, he is now playing in the Super Bowl.



Weed Bowl (syn: Bong Bowl): The teams in the Super Bowl represent the first two states to legalize weed for recreational usage. Capitalizing on such an opportunity on the second biggest eating day of the year to Thanksgiving, Colorado started regulating marijuana sales less than three weeks before the conference championship game.



Renee Fleming: The first opera singer to sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl. You should care because this hopefully gives us a chance to see Broncos running back Knowshon Moreno cry waterfalls.



Key commentary to make yourself seem knowledgeable:



For pleasing Seahawks fans: “Between the running game and defense, Seattle looks better equipped to play a cold weather game.”



“The Seahawks were originally the favorite to win this game, the line only changed because more money went in on the Broncos.”



For pleasing Broncos fans: “Eli won one in Peyton’s house, now it’s Peyton’s turn to win one at Eli’s.”



*For use on any big passing play* “WHEN YOU TRY ME WITH A SORRY CORNER LIKE SHERMAN THAT’S THE RESULT YOU GOING TO GET.” TC mark

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