I’m Scared Of The Day When You Stop Loving Me

I fear the day that you will move forward from loving me. Everyone deserves to be happy, but I’m afraid that you have not felt the pain that you inflicted on my heart—the sleepless nights and the restless days where you exhausted my mind from thinking about you. Although, I’m glad that you will be on you merry way to find someone new now, I hope that you will be able to know the pains of a heart yearning for something it can’t have, because only then will you know what it means to truly love.

I have no doubt that you will find someone new, possibly a week from now or maybe even just a month from now, but I hope that you do take care of her. Always make the effort to get to know her because you failed to get to know me. Love her unconditionally even when your love needs so much more in return. But most of all, accept her because you left me when you saw me unravel before you. She will be a lucky girl for having you by her side but do not leave her devastated, if anything, do not leave her at all.

I loved you loving me, but I’m afraid I have to accept that even you have to move on, that despite all the forever upon forevers that we promised each other, words can only get us so far when our actions do not speak the same language. You are everything that I have ever wanted in a boy and yet I know that your wanting for me was only fleeting and nothing more but a sham that I believed. I hate looking back and seeing how vulnerable I made myself to you, but I hate it more how I believed that you reciprocated that vulnerability, when in fact you didn’t. I see no sadness in your eyes and it fills me with so much loathing because now I have to face the truth that maybe I put you on a pedestal, comfortably sitting, while you wait that I whisk you away to paradise.

You will move on faster than I will. You will have a smile plastered on that face faster than I can blink. You will have a girl around your arm faster than I can take another breathe, but most of all you will have your heart whole again faster than I can pick up the broken pieces of my soul. Your heart will be whole because you never gave it. You only gave words and empty promises. You couldn’t even fight for our relationship even when you said you would.

At the end of the day, I don’t think you even have to move on. It’s a shame because I don’t think you ever even loved.