I’m Sorry, I’m Only Human

time lapse photography of woman portrait
Motoki Tonn / Unsplash

First of all, I want to apologize to myself. For being selfish and inconsiderate. For making the wrong choices in life, and for continuing to make them. For not being able to work on the problems I have made earlier in life and not doing the best I can to pick up the pieces of what I broke. For not controlling what felt and for letting it control me instead. For ruining and failing the lives around me. And for being dishonest with the thoughts, words and actions I made.

But I am also apologizing for not taking care of myself. For being careless and unforgiving for where I went wrong in life. For not loving myself and becoming too fixated on the flaws I have. For comparing myself to the people around me and for not seeing the light that shines inside of me. For being someone I never wanted to be just to please those around me and for not respecting the woman I am. But most of all, for not knowing my worth and for not knowing that I deserve what’s best for me.

I’m sorry for those I have hurt. Especially the ones I love. I’m sorry for not listening and letting all of you down. I’m sorry I broke promises and ruined everyone’s trust in me. I’m sorry that I did not appreciate those who have put in their effort and time in me, because instead I was too ungrateful to even see that. I’m sorry that the problems I made involved those who do not even deserve to part of them and for abusing those who were lenient toward me.

I’m sorry for not being able to show my gratitude and love. For not being selfless and vigilant. For not getting to make an effort in everyone’s lives and not being able to give back to those who have given me so much more than I deserve. For not being honest to those who deserve to hear the truth and for not being able to be there to reciprocate one’s feelings. But most of all, for not letting them know how much I love them and how much they mean to me.

We all make mistakes in different areas in our life because we never get to fully understand where we went wrong and how to forgive ourselves. Like breaking a glass, we try to pick up the pieces without getting hurt, without bleeding. We have to figure out out if we can ever put it all back together or if we should just throw it away.

But we are only human. We were not made to live a perfect life or a life where we constantly apologize for what we do. Life has its high and low points, like how mountains have their different shapes and sizes, but it still remains beautiful. We bleed, we break, we fall. We glow, we shine, we stand tall. It’s simply life, and we are simply humans. TC mark

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