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10 Tips On How To Lick A Girl (NSFW)

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DoctorKan / (Shutterstock.com)
DoctorKan / (Shutterstock.com)

So I have to think about how to tell this new guy I’m seeing that his oral sex skills could do with a reboot. I don’t think any of his ex girlfriends have had “The Conversation” with him. The one about how to eat pussy. This is what I would say if—when—I get the courage to teach him. The women that come after me will be secretly thanking this mystery ex for teaching him how to do it right.

Firstly, I just don’t understand why anyone doesn’t look this shit up. Aren’t we all adults? We have access to so much information on the interwebz. Then I think, doesn’t he care that he sucks? He said that none of the girls he’s been with have ever come from head. Holy shitballs, dude. Perhaps it’s because you suck at sucking pussy?! This one ain’t too bright.

As aforementioned, I am well aware that there is a plethora of information out there and what I have to offer is my own personal experience. After three and a half months of sex and some improvements, I am still without orgasm whilst he has had more than he thought possible. This article is not about what he does well—that would require another article—this is purely about what his tongue and lips are doing wrong, not doing right, or not doing at all.

1. Don’t start with the clit.

What the hell? This is the number-one rule—don’t go straight for the clit! Ermagerd. Start by licking my pussy lips. Yes, further down. Yes, when I wriggle to move my pussy to touch your tongue, it’s because I’m trying to show you where to start licking. Fark. How obvious do I have to be? Start with the lips and tease, tease, tease! When I’m begging for it (groaning, asking for it, grinding), that’s when you move to the clit.

2. Let the tension build.

The brain is the biggest sex organ and that is especially the case for women. Guys can also be off their sex game too if they’re not present in their bodies, of course. But I feel that this is especially so for us ladies. We’re wired differently and we want to feel adored, told that we are sexy, that we can turn your flaccid penis into a warm hard throbbing cock. Foreplay is essential. Sometimes foreplay is short if we are already horny or just read or watched something that got us hot and horny. At a guess, the foreplay we want is probably four times longer than you think. Quick suggestions: necking, kissing, flesh grabbing, kneading ass cheeks (especially when it makes our outer lips part), kissing ears, ear nibbling, breast play, nipple play, running hands over back of calves and behind knees, showing what positions you want later when the fuckfest happens. Then you can fire off a herald sign of going south by kissing the stomach, lick if you want to, suck if you want to as you make a beeline downtown. Kiss my thighs, kiss across my outer lips, take a deep breath in, murmur how much you want to do this, how you look forward to tasting my pussy. By making us feel like a goddess, you can get anything you want. Including a wet juicy pussy to play with and fuck senseless.

3. Don’t ignore my labia.

My poor labia minora get so forgotten. It’s like he thinks they’re not fun. I wonder how he would feel if I kept forgetting to lick his sac and play with his balls. This is what gets a pussy hot, wet, and dripping in juicy girlcum. Even if she is so wet already from foreplay, even if there is juice coming through her underwear, you start licking those lips. Think about licking ice cream…your favourite flavor… thick broad slow soft strokes using the middle of your tongue. No pointy tip action just yet. That can come later for variety. But start with this languorous broad stroke from the bottom of her pussy up past her clit. Then do it again. Slowly. Then lick everywhere.

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I used to get butterflies when I looked at you, but now they feel more like maggots feasting away on the heart you slaughtered.

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