woman sitting on rock formation under snow

I’m Saying Goodbye To The Person Who Could Never Love Me Back

Have you ever wondered how different your life would be if a certain person was with you by your side? If only they felt how you feel, would things be any different? Why is it so easy to fall in love and yet so hard to fall out of it? Why are people so simplistic, yet so confusing? Some days all I wish for are answers, but then again I realize some questions are better left unanswered and some words are better off unspoken. Has your heart ached so much that it could not handle the pain? Has it ached to the point where your tears keep falling uncontrollably?

For some reason, I always had the clue that I would never be able to afford your love, but one of these days I hope we end up being by each other’s side, even as friends. Every part of falling in love with you was painful, yet so beautiful. You were always so close, yet so far. We differed in ways that could never be similar. If you were black, then I was white. If you were the front, then I was the back. You were this amazing jock and I was a nerd struggling with life.

In the room full of known and unknown faces, my eyes always wandered in search for you, but yours never did. My heart would flutter and my stomach would get butterflies when I beheld you, but yours never did. My face would brighten up like a kid with candy whenever you spoke to me, but yours never did. Your smile would lighten up my day, but you were immune to mine. To be honest, I am neither mad about how I could not have the love I wished for nor am I mad about you not wanting me back. I am mad about the moments that I never got to spend with you. I am mad that I never got those 2 a.m. deep talks. I am mad about not being able to tell you how much your presence meant to me. I am mad about only knowing just a little about you, and moreover I am mad about how I am the silliest one to fall for someone who would never reciprocate my feelings.

So, to my known stranger: This is my goodbye. A goodbye because my heart cannot take the fall anymore. A goodbye because a new chapter awaits both of us. A goodbye because life is too precious to be sad about the love that you cannot afford. My only wish for you is happiness. I hope only good things walk past you. I hope if we ever get the chance, we cross paths again so I can keep you even as a friend. I hope you fall in love with someone who gives the world to you. To the beautiful soul you are, I hope the love and support I have for you never dies. I hope life treats both of us well.

A seeker, learner and a dreamer.

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