I am so tired of seeing every single thought you have.
This is too painful for me to see that you’re functioning at a high level.
NO I DON’T CARE THAT YOU ATE A BAGEL AT 11:52 AM THIS MORNING.
I can’t deal with the constant reminder.
So happy to see that you’re still doing fun and exciting things.
I really don’t need to think about what you look like.
SO HAPPY THAT YOU’RE DATING, REALLY.
I don’t want to see when you delete the pictures of us.
I’m scared you’ll unfollow me first.
If their head was so far up your ass that they cared to see what you were blogging about 24/7, you can bet your sweet ass that they will unfollow you the minute things are over. Jesus Christ.
Facebook is only for real life events, and I don’t want to see yours.
Whenever it comes up that you liked another indie band it makes me nauseous.
I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND.
Stalking you is too tempting and I’m trying to get over it!
Delete your number (and or) block you:
This recently happened and I am so bitter and I don’t care that you might contact me (but I’m hoping that you do).
I don’t want to be able to drunk text you.
This is better for me, and I know that.
I honestly never want to talk to you again.
YOUR PINS SUCK AND I HATE FACEBOOK FOR MAKING ME FOLLOW YOU.
(this will probably take place months later, because honestly, fuck Pinterest).