What It Means When People Delete You Off Their Social Media List

Twitter:

Stage one

I am so tired of seeing every single thought you have.

This is too painful for me to see that you’re functioning at a high level.

NO I DON’T CARE THAT YOU ATE A BAGEL AT 11:52 AM THIS MORNING.

I can’t deal with the constant reminder.

Instagram:

Stage two

So happy to see that you’re still doing fun and exciting things.

I really don’t need to think about what you look like.

SO HAPPY THAT YOU’RE DATING, REALLY.

I don’t want to see when you delete the pictures of us.

I’m scared you’ll unfollow me first.

Tumblr:

If their head was so far up your ass that they cared to see what you were blogging about 24/7, you can bet your sweet ass that they will unfollow you the minute things are over. Jesus Christ.

Facebook:

Stage three

Facebook is only for real life events, and I don’t want to see yours.

Whenever it comes up that you liked another indie band it makes me nauseous.

I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND.

Stalking you is too tempting and I’m trying to get over it!

Delete your number (and or) block you:

Stage four

This recently happened and I am so bitter and I don’t care that you might contact me (but I’m hoping that you do).

I don’t want to be able to drunk text you.

This is better for me, and I know that.

I honestly never want to talk to you again.

Pinterest:

YOUR PINS SUCK AND I HATE FACEBOOK FOR MAKING ME FOLLOW YOU.

(this will probably take place months later, because honestly, fuck Pinterest).