These last two weeks have been absolutely terrifying. I don’t know if it’s the situation or the residue beer fear from the festive season I can barely remember or, indeed, a combination of both of those. I jolt awake every morning and my inner monologue beginning with the words, “FUCK WHAT DO I DO NOW?!” — truly, there is not an alarm clock you can buy that is more effective than this shit.
You know when you have those days or weeks or months where things are just not going the way you’d thought? At every turn there seems to be a massive decision to be made, an unforeseen complication, or something that just makes you think, “Why though?” It can feel like the universe is against you, that the world is throwing shade at your life plans for no other reason than to make you miserable. I get it. I’ve been there. I am there. It’s gotten to the point where I’m asking the moon, the stars, Alexa, and whoever else is around if they can shed some light on what is going on. Google doesn’t know. My mom doesn’t know. No one fucking knows anything! Oh wait…
So no one knows. Okay. Isn’t that the most reassuring thing you’ve ever heard? No one knows. No one is better off than you. In this global collective consciousness, we are all literally just guessing. Trying. Living our lives in a world where, in reality, we control absolutely nothing. Where the only certainty is that nothing is ever certain. That is the fundamental and fucking terrifying truth that we need to face up to accept: That if there is a plan, we aren’t making it, and we just have to believe that in the end, we are going to end up exactly where we need to be.
Scary, isn’t it?
But imagine for a second that you knew exactly how everything was going to turn out. That you could map out your life so completely that every plan you’ve ever had, every assumption you have ever made, worked out exactly as you thought it would. Imagine the boredom of it. Imagine all the impromptu nights out you wouldn’t have had, the spontaneous trips you wouldn’t have been on, and all the best friends you would not have met because the universe never took control and pushed you onto a different path. What did the fear of not knowing actually reward you with?
I have learned this. You can decide how to use that fear. Ultimately, it’s just energy—really, really powerful energy. You can harness it whichever way you choose—either you cower away from it and let it overwhelm you or you recognize the fire inside of you and use that fear as petrol. Supercharge yourself, let it consume you, and watch as that fear drives you forward towards a destination you only ever dreamed of.
At some point, you’ve got to let go and accept it’s the universe behind the wheel. Do not limit yourself to a belief that your life will turn out this way or that way, just believe that wherever you end up, it will be positive, an incredible journey—it will be everything you ever wanted, and even possibly a whole lot more than that.
Positive vibes, people, that’s what they say. You get out of this world what you put in. And let’s be honest, we need a whole lot more happiness around here.