I’m sorry. I can’t make it to your lunch/wedding/christening/hideous family event. I’m busy. In fact, I’m so busy I’m actually fully booked until June 2020. If you need me, it’s just too bad because I am working/eating/becoming obsessed with a new hobby that I will cease to care about in 3 weeks time/on an obscure day trip to find a bar that I haven’t yet been to/attending an exercise class that I know I’m going to despise but I’m going to do it anyway for the Facebook Check-In.
In an unbelievable solo mission to please every person I know and obtain incredibly exciting content for my own Instagram feed, I have somehow agreed to attend an event every damn day for the rest of my life. What a truly exciting life I lead.
I know what you’re thinking – “Beth, that is fantastic, what a socialite you are. Congrats on filling your diary for the foreseeable future. I’ll get you a new one for Christmas so you can continue to live your INCREDIBLE busy life with all your commitments” – it was something like that, right? Yeah?
What I didn’t foresee is how much of a toll this way of thinking and living would take. A few months in, I find myself literally crawling to a spinning class that I don’t want to even attend. That’s right I’m crawling on the way there, IMAGINE the state of me when it ended. Like, what’s the point of even having legs after that?
NB. I’ve never wanted to sincerely attend a spinning class, to me it just looks like socially acceptable torture and I fundamentally do not agree with it
I’m so mentally exhausted that I don’t remember days of the week anymore, time no longer exists, I’m just floating about and occasionally throwing myself into new rooms of new people for a new activity that I can’t remember signing up for.
Taking on more work, new projects, new mantras, maybe I’ll learn a language? Never managed it at school, was shit at it, bet it’s all changed now though. Spanish? Hola. Smashing it already.
Fuck, I’m tired.
Why am I even doing this? I know why. To appear like I have a full, happy and exciting life.
Hold on to your hats kids, because here comes my next revelation.
It has become apparent to me that we wear “being busy” like a badge of honor. We throw ourselves at every opportunity, scared that we may miss out on something even if we don’t exactly know what that thing may be. In it for the gram, in it to say we did it – regardless of the fact that we weren’t even interested just so we didn’t have to say “I’m just going home tonight”.
But it seems to me, that by making ourselves so available, we are failing to understand the true value of our time. Why do we not appreciate the moments we can spend just being with ourselves, taking in whats happening around us and appreciate just watching the world do its thing.
Why should “I’m just taking some time out for myself tonight to chill” be such an unacceptable answer? Why should that not hold equal if not more weight than any other response? Is it out of fear of being labeled as boring?
Taking time out to check in with yourself is essential to your own mental and physical stability. We need to learn to say no, say no to that next drink, that additional gym session, that extra work, the next networking event – if that is what you actually want to say.
Take back control of your own life, your perception of you is the only perception that truly matters. Feel confident that when you make time to empty your brain of all these thoughts and responsibilities, that you do genuinely deserve that. There is nothing wrong with sitting in your bed eating crisps and watching a whole Netflix original series if that is what you feel like doing.
There is nothing more valuable than your time and it is limited, so spend it on your passions, the things and people you love and your own mental wellbeing.
PS: Please feel free to contact me for Netflix recommendations.