The Nice Guy Cliché: The struggle between being a pushover and granting people respect is perhaps one of the most instrumental learning curves in maturation. The nice guy cliché has hopefully been beaten into you enough times to understand a simple truth: The strong-willed man will find the exact medium that showcases his virtues to others while unconsciously demanding (and therefore receives) equal goodness and respect back. The greater clarity you obtain about yourself – who you are, what you want, and what you deserve – the harder the universe will work to give it to you. When you do not compromise your moral compass to placate to others, you bring your light to the world around you.
What Makes the Weak Man: “Your opinion of yourself becomes your reality. If you have all these doubts, then no one will believe in you and everything will go wrong. If you believe the opposite, the opposite will happen. It’s that simple.” – Curtis Jackson
The mark of a weak person is that he gives others his unwavering respect and time whether or not they deserve it. He will give respect and will subordinate to other people’s realities because it is what he believes he should do. He does not feel confident in his own world – he thinks “other people know better than I, why should I risk getting mocked at by showcasing what I believe?” The weak person respects other people’s realities greater than his own, and so he subordinates himself automatically in an attempt to please others and as a result, gets drawn into their worlds. His life is no longer his – he is constantly at the mercy of those who will feed upon this weakness and take this respect for granted.
Unfortunately, this is picked up (unconsciously and consciously) by others who have the strength and desire to manipulate those around them for their own good. The “nice guy” will be consistently taken advantage of by others who wish to use them selfishly as a stepping stone to greater things. The weak man is weak because he wishes to please others, placing their desires above his own. As a result, his respect for others is abused and his moral equity is compromised by others.
What Makes the Strong Man: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Don’t wait around for people to change. They are constantly showing you who they are, so don’t ignore their signs. Believe it the first time.” – Unknown
The mark of a strong person is that he only gives respect and time to those people who deserve it. The strong person will not be drawn into other people’s realities, but he will respect those around him who deserve to stay in their own. Despite any conflicts in realities, he is open to other’s opinions, values, views, and gives them the chance to be themselves even if he does not agree with them. He is not respectful, kind, helpful, and caring due to a lack of self-belief, but rather the opposite – he knows who he is, what he wants, and is not threatened by the strength and will of others. The strong man feels comfortable around others and wants them to bask in his aura with him, so that they mutually benefit from his strength.
The strong person is not oblivious or blind to other’s faults. He can instantly turn away from others when they showcase virtues that are not worthy of the strong person’s respect and time. If he believes their nature is good but they have been led astray (or have not yet matured), they feel the urge to help – but they do not tolerate poor morality.
Give Respect and Demand Equal Morality in Return:
To those who deserve your time, give them full and outright respect. Treat their opinions with respect, show them that you value and love them, and grant them the benefit of your presence, your aura, your morality, your virtues. If at any point you figure out that they do not deserve your time, drop them immediately. Become the kind of person that does the right thing – for yourself and therefore for others. Give absolute respect and demand equally. Our Greatest Fear by Marianne Williamson comes to mind – “your playing small does not serve the world… as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Life contains a large pool of unique individuals – do not waste your finite time on those who do not deserve it; it will always come at the cost of giving more of your brain, body, and heart to those who truly do deserve everything you can give them.