Why You Keep Running Back To That One Person

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You’ve probably dated them before. Whether it was a week of dates or years of dating, you both felt the connection right away. It ended with a plethora of excuses both you and the other person made, some valid, some not. Mainly, it ended because you knew you were meant to be together but neither of you were ready to settle down. At least, that’s what you tell yourself, but never say out loud. Not ever.

You meet up for coffee or lunch, something casual, friendly, not assuming like a dinner date. You most definitely do not meet up for drinks where there is alcohol involved and the imminent night to come. They always end up back in your life even though you’ve said “adios” a million times, thinking they were gone for good this time. And of course, any negative feelings you may have had go away when you find out they’re back in your life again. So you meet up for something casual, a museum day or Sunday brunch, things you would ask a friend to do with you. If anyone were to see you out together, though, they would assume you were on a date, but both of you refuse to admit this. You tell yourself, “This is normal. This is what friends do, right?”

Except it isn’t normal. There is something there. Both of you know it. But it can’t be admitted because that would lead to disaster. You’ve tried admitting it before, and it just didn’t work out. You’ve gone into a conversation with the intention of pointing out this incredible connection you have, how you are the same person, really, and how you would make such an incredible life partnership, but somehow the words you said just didn’t come out right. It’s okay though, because if they did, you wouldn’t have had the experiences you’ve had since then.

Always tell yourself and others that you’re not meant to be with them. You definitely don’t like them anymore, not like that. Try to believe it. Don’t even admit the slightest potential to yourself; just put them into that harmless and dangerous category of that one person, just like the rest of us do. TC mark

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