10 Reasons New York City Will Fall In Love With Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow
Source: Clemed

Tim Tebow has been traded to the New York Jets. The football-slinging messiah and the city of New York is a match made in heaven. Here’s why.

  1. He’s a devout Baptist, homeschooled in rural Florida
  2. He’s often on his knees.
  3. He enjoys missionary and spends his free time circumcising children in the Philippines.
  4. He’s adamantly against abortion.
  5. He’s left-handed.
  6. He’s a virgin.
  7. He isn’t that great at playing Quarterback
  8. Jesus Christ is both his lord and/or savior
  9. He has a crush on Glee star Dianna Agron
  10. He isn’t Mark Sanchez.

Amen. May the Gods of football bless us all. TC mark


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  • http://twitter.com/iamthe0nly Jordana Bevan

    i love you

    • RIN

      Tebow or Ben?Β 

      • http://twitter.com/iamthe0nly Jordana Bevan

        all of the above

  • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    Sorry did I miss something? Are the 40 million Evangelical Born Again Christians all hiding in New York City somewhere?

    • http://twitter.com/iamthe0nly Jordana Bevan

      yup, you missed it

  • http://ourbrooklyn.tumblr.com/ ashley

    Is he really a virgin?

  • Nichi

    LOL. i’m south african and don’t even know what sport you’re talking about but that’s funny. yeah, … errr … bless y’all.

    • BenSauce

      Bless you fine soul

  • zlady6

    he looks like marcus mumford. reason enough right there.

    • BobDolePatrol

      Had to look up Marcus Mumford, not impressed. Isn’t jacked enough to run over linebackers.

  • Waicool

    thoughful hate list, wonderful.

  • RP

    Jacksonville == rural Florida.

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