Predicting The Endings Of Popular Movies I Haven’t Seen
By Ben Kassoy
The Sixth Sense: Bruce Willis has been dead the whole time, duh.
A Clockwork Orange: Protagonist moves to cottage in Vermont and lives happily ever after.
Apocalypse Now: It was all a dream.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: After all that, Zales is closed.
The Godfather: Mobsters celebrate with pizza.
The Godfather Part II: Leftovers.
The Grapes of Wrath: The book is still better.
It Happened One Night: The next morning, Plan B.
Raging Bull: “Adriaaaaan!”
2001: A Space Odyssey: The audience wakes up.
Man With a Movie Camera: Director realizes, “I guess we’ve been rolling this entire time.”
Dr. Strangelove: Money shot.
The French Connection: Tea Partiers push to rename film The Freedom Connection.
Gone With the Wind: It ends?
Blade Runner: Wesley Snipes fatally stabs the evil vampire.
Some Like it Hot: So long, gazpacho.
The Bridge on the River Kwai: Porky Pig bursts through screen: “That’s all, folks!”
Schindler’s List: It was all a dream.
Star Wars: I give everyone shit for watching Star Wars without me again.
The Triumph of the Will: Hitler fist bumps Jesse Owens.
The Silence of the Lambs: Leftovers.
Citizen Kane: “Here’s looking at you, Rosebud”